Becoming Mockingjay
by An Unknown Foreign Beauty
Summary: AU. What if Katniss is taken by Capitol at the end of Catching Fire & been hijacked instead of Peeta, then how the things will work? How the relationship will grow while Peeta must struggle with love, hate and all the responsibilities of making her to be the real Mockingjay? Needless to say things are twisted.
1. Graveyard

**I'm **_**hijacked **_**by THG. I read all 3 books in just 48 hours. Then I wonder what if Katniss is hijacked instead to Peeta how the things will work, how the relationship will change. There are many versions but here's my version.**

**So here it is my first ever story for THG. I wish I could master Collins' enchanting narrative power. Sadly I can't. Please don't shoot me for the terrible narration, grammar and spelling errors. English isn't my native language. I'm still practicing it.**

I stand there alone. The wind swirls around me, ash covers my tangled hair spreading a fine layer over my boots. The green meadow which was always green now is nothing but a remnant of dry grasses, shattered pieces of the remaining of the former District 12. My eyes search for the familiar signboard of Mellerk's Bakery but only to find a few crumbled pieces of blackened steel remnants. It seems very unusual- the always crowded Mellerks bakery is now nothing but a huge pile of rubbles, broken glasses and crumbled steels.

A tear is threatened to drop.

"Peeta", a voice whispers, a gentle hand touches my shoulder "It's time to go."

I lift my right hand to conceal the tear behind my shirt sleeve. My friend and ally Finnick Odier is standing behind me, trying to hide the sadness behind his over sexy face. He tries to smile as our eyes meet. "The hovercraft is waiting."

"Yes," I nod "It's time to go."

My eyes escapes the image of the victor's village remains untouched since the bombing in District 12. The whole district died in an instant. Only a few managed to escape- Katniss's family is among them. But my family..

They refused to go and take shelter in the woods during the attack. I have no idea what was going though their heads at that time. Obedience to the Capitol? It seems funny when their youngest son joins the rebels.

My feet stop. "Wait." I mouth to Finnick and begin heading to the victor's village. He gives me a confused look but doesn't try to protest.

I push open the entrance and walk inside. The cold wind blows, kissing my face gently. I inhale deeply. For the first time in my visit to the district 12 the air smells like grass and life rather than ashes. My eyes takes the few large building standing lonely, untouched, ridiculously mocking the ruins all around- standing high declaring the glory of Capitol over us. My feet make an unnatural thump over the ground, silent for many days. I stop in front of one lonely house.

I walk along the open door, climb thee dusty stairs. There is nothing but my footsteps.

Where am I?

My eyes burn when I find myself standing before a large mirror, a shaggy room, a book lying on the floor on it's spine.

I kneel upon the floor. My fingers touch the yellowed pages. Ash settles all over the open pages but the tiny handwriting are still visible under the plant sketches.

My sketches, her handwritings.

Everything seems belongs to a dream from another life.

'Katniss wasn't really so much careful about her room." My head shot up with a deep voice from behind. A pair of grey eyes locks instantly upon mine.

Gale!

"What?" I straightened myself to my full height. Another man is now looking in my eyes. His intense grey eyes are now piercing my soul.

"She suffers." He nods "Because of you."

"But I tried to…" I have to stop in midsentence because his hands clasp around mine.

"You're supposed to protect her."

My head hangs to my chest. I can't avoid the blame. Yes, I was supposed to protect her. I was supposed to die in the game, making sure that she was alive. She is the one the whole nation waiting for. But here I'm standing- safely and she is in the…

Capitol.

My eyes catch the battered calendar hanging in a unnatural position from the hook, reminding the fateful day.

September!

So six weeks have passed since we were rescued by a hovercraft of district 13. Six weeks since Katniss was captured by Capitol.

"Can you avoid this?" Gale says.

"No!" I nod. "But I shall…"

"Gale. Peeta!" our conversation is interrupted by some voices from outside. I look through the broken glasses; the whole crew is waiting for my return.

"Then keep your promise." Gale mutters under his breath, turning his heels towards the door.

Downstairs I snag my game bag, throw the family plant book inside and follow him to the hovercraft of District 13. Plutarch Havensbee and his crew welcome me inside. Gale throws me another piercing glare while taking his seat two rows apart. Boggs gives me a toothy grin and Haymitch is passed out in his couch in a drunken stupor as usual.

The door slides close.

"This way Peeta." Flavius smiles at me leading me through the rows of seats "President Coin is waiting for you."

"Oh!" I smile back wryly, seeing the middle aged President stilting four more rows ahead. Taking a careful glace around me I gazed into Flavius's eyes. "Any news of her?"

"Nothing!" he nods.

My heart sinks. No news. Six weeks I have not seen her lovely face, her spank. I have lost my whole family now for my carelessness I'm going to lose her too. I wonder why they can't rescue her from the arena. Is a plan or….

People keep watching, whispering behind me as I walk along to the way to President Alma Coin of District 13, the rebellious district destroyed seventy five years ago and mysteriously reborn under the ground.

Now they are leading the rebel we ignited two years ago.

They want me to be the face of rebellion.

"Sit down, Soldier Mellerk." Coin nods as I reach her row. Her hands pat the seat in her right side. I take my seat beside her. Her intense eyes are locked upon me. Her albino white skin is reflecting the sunlight. Her eyes are piercing like Caeser Flickerman.

"So what do you decide, Mr. Mellerk?" She leans forward. Her attitude somehow reminds me of Caeser again.

"Nothing!" I reply simply.

"Not yet?"

I nod.

Her eyes gaze into mine again. I try to read what is going inside her brain. But unfortunately she is good in wearing masks. I know she is trying to read me too.

"Why didn't you rescue her too?"

"We can't."

"Then don't ask me about my opinion."

Coin draws her eyebrows closer, a small smile is playing at the corner of her lips. "You love her, boy!" she exclaims.

I stare into her, not willing to answer.

A painful silence!

We keep staring at each other in a undeclared contest.

"We've received some audio tapes from Capitol!" At last it is her who speaks first.

"Audio tapes!" I blink, confused.

"Yes!" she nods again. Somehow I wonder I see a line of faint smile along her lips. She motions one of her fellow men to press a button somewhere.

A scream! Full of pain!

Katniss! Like someone is tearing each and every part of her body.

My hands automatically fly to cover my ears. The scream continues. My body looses all the resistance as I hunch to the aluminum floor.

"Stop it!" I scream covering my ears tightly trying to escape the fearful scream. Warm tears begin running down along my cheeks.

"Please!" I beg.

Coin motions to the man and the hovercraft becomes as silent as before. Two men help me to find the chair. I feel my heart still pounding against my ribcage. My whole body is still shaking like I had a terrible nightmare. Someone offers me a glass full of water and gladly I accept that. For an instance my eyes meet Gale's. His eyes are burning with both sadness and anger. Finnick waves at me from the back seat assuring me.

"It's the only trace we found of Miss Everdreen in last six weeks." Coin now fixes her gaze upon mine "And you can understand that they are not so nice with her."

I may be wrong but possibly I see a hint of enthusiasm in her eyes. my fingers instantly fly to my shirt pocket. The metal hardness of the mockingjay pin rubs against my skin. It belongs to her.

She is the Mockingjay.

She is the one who ignited this fire.

She is needed to tend this fire.

"I'll not join the rebellion until Katniss returns.." I answer icily. Coin's head shot up with my reply. But I continue.

"Because Katniss is the Mockingjay."

**Sounds weird?**

**Definitely not good as the book. I'm not a fan of my own writing. **

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	2. The shock

**As for my first story on THG, and practicing the new style (Collin's style) I'm pretty excited. So don't shoot me for the choppiness, errors and grammar. But I really need REVIEWS to improve myself also for inspiration. Without reviews it seems like I'm writing to no one. I may sound mean but the next UPDATE will never come unless I get at least 5 reviews from you. It's not a threat but I need them to keep the ball rolling. so don't stay silent, speak up what you want to see.**

**Also check out my one shot "There are still times" where Katniss and Peeta's daughter encounters Peeta's flashbacks for the first time. Of course never forget to leave reviews. **

**I wish I could master Collin's magical ability. Sadly I can't (Plz, Don't remind me. I'll cry.)**

As the district 13 hoverplane speeding up, I am pretty much anxious for any attack, but nothing seems bothering us. After exchanging some confirmatory notes between Plutarach and the pilot, I begin relaxing a little. Sure I've no way to stay of my own, as I feel Coin's eyes will never stop following my moves beneath her half closed lids. Finnick is busy in tying knots at the end of a rope, Haymitch in his usual drunken stupor, Gale busy with a weird looking device on his wrist checking for the tracking signals from Capitol. Yet air is heavy with tension, I can hardly breath. Everything they are doing just to keep themselves busy.

I check my wrist for today's schedule; 18:30- _Reflction_. It must be the only time for the district 13 inhabitants to taste the sunlight in the underground world. All the survivors of District 12 are given instant citizenship of 13, provided with quarters and jobs; still I think they miss their old home.

Home?

Here I'm in district 13, only survivor of Mellark family, where is my home? The answer is difficult to find. I flipped the game bag, pulling out the old family book of Everdreen family. My finger traces the tiny careful handwritings.

Katniss!

She is the only home I can imagine. She is the only one left for me in the world. She is the…

Oh! What I'm thinking!

I told her once, everything I told her during the games were only for television. But did I really mean that? Then why my heart breaks at her painful scream? Why I feel so lost without her?

I eye to the half sleeping president two seats away. Can she read my mind? Then why they rescued me? Why it wasn't Katniss? Isn't she the real Mockingjay? Isn't the real face of the rebellion? Then why she chooses me? Just because I'm good with the cameras? Right now they leave me alone considering my emotional breakdown of losing my so called wife; everyone is tolerating my meaningless deals. But it can't last forever. Neither can they postpone the rebellion depending on the one teenage girl. If they can't have her, then they will find another.

From the landing pad, Finnick accompanies me to the underground, compartment 307. I hesitate at the door marked 307. This is the compartment allotted for Everdreen family.

"What I shall tell them?" I ask Finnick.

His large hands instantly pat my arms. His sea green eyes reflect the sadness. I know how he feels. Annie is also taken by Capitol. Our hearts bleed probably in same way. But Finnick Odiar is really different. The usual sexy cloud consumes his sad eyes as soon as our eyes meet.

"But they are looking at you, Peeta." He says "Possibly they trust you."

I take a deep breath and knock the door. It is Mrs. Everdreen who opens the door. I see the hope in her face as she looks at me. My head instantly hangs to my chest. I've nothing. No good news. My eyes catch the little girl, clinging to her mother's arms- Prim, Katniss's little sister. The light goes out from her blue eyes the moment our eyes meet.

"I'm sorry, Prim."

Mrs. Everdreen remains as silent as before. It is Prim who walks forward and takes my hand. "Come in, Peeta.' She chirps with false enthusiasm. Her smile mimics Effie. Looking into her face I begin to feel guiltier.

Couldn't it be me instead of her? She has a family, worried sick for her while I've no one. Possibly no one would miss me if I was gone.

"I've something for you, Prim." I try to smile handing her the family plant book. Her eyes lights up with joy when she sees the book. But only for a second. They turn in the deserted coal mine again when her eyes catches the familiar handwriting.

"Any news of her?" she whispers.

Suddenly I begin to feel a lump inside my throat. What I shall tell her? The horrible scream I heard in the hoverplane? The pain in her every words? My failure of protecting her? What can I say?

The silence become too painful as her hopeful eyes keep watching me. I really don't want to hurt this girl. Really not!

She hugs the plant book to her chest, and places on the table. Mrs. Everdreen sinks into the nearby chair, her emotionless eyes staring at the ceiling. Buttercup, Prim's cat hisses at me. I sit on the chair, alone.

They hate me. I'm worthy to it.

The painful silence ends with the ringing of the diner bell.

Trailing down the dinner hall I meet Gale on the hallway. His face is like stone. He doesn't bother to exchange any words as we reach the end of the stairs. I decide to part my path on the way to the dinner hall.

"The command wants us to of us." Gale's voice stops me at my pace.

"Another bargaining session?" I turn back, not much willing to speak.

"I'm not sure."

"I'm tired of all of this. I said you all, I'm not going to be the face of rebellion."

Gale let out a stiff laugh. "But I think that is not possible anymore. You are a charmer. You're chosen. Katniss is gone." His grey Seam eyes are reflecting the dim underground light "You're lucky man Peeta Mellark."

Lucky man! What he wants to say? Being chosen? No I'm not the one supposed to be chosen. So Coin chooses me just for my appeal on television? No, it's not fair.

"I don't believe Katniss is gone." My jaw stiffens "If they want me to join the rebellion, they can't do until they can rescue her."

His eyes soften. "I don't believe any of your words." He mutters under his breath.

A sigh escapes from my mouth. I know the reality. Katniss is disappeared like a vapor. Six weeks! No news, except a horrible audio tape.

Possibly both of us feel in the same way.

I follow Gale to the command room, a high tech war council room complete with all kind of technology one can imagine. Pluterach welcomes me with a grin. "Hi Peeta, nice to see you again."

"No more stupid welcomes." I mutter under my breath. All of them gather around a television screen for a show. No one notices me as I take my seat in the last row sandwiched between Finnick and Haymicth. Finnick welcomes me with a warm smile. We grow since he restarted my heart in the arena in quarter quell.

The seal, the anthem, the show begins. Caesar Flickerman, the host of Hunger Games appears on screen with his colored hair and sparking blue suit, smiles with his usual artificial grace. And the next moment the camera moves back, I see the guest- Katniss Everdreen.

A gasp escapes me. It is not the Katniss Everdreen, the survivor girl I knew. The sparkle of her grey eyes is lost. Makeup can't hide the bags under her eyes. I assume I can count each and every rib under her pale pink, baby girl dress. Her hands are freighting upon the armrest of her chair. Her eyes move at every possible direction for the invisible attacks. And right then the camera moves. I feel another tight grasp around my wrist- Finnick, eyes wide with shock and fear. My eyes turn towards the screen to find another guest- Annie Cresta.

"So, Katniss Everdreen and Annie Cresta, two of our former victors." Caser smiles looking at them "Nice to see you two again."

Annie gives a silent nod, her eyes mimics fear. Katniss's arms soon find her to comfort.

"So how about the night in the arena?" Caser smiles at her "Can you just tell us, the audiences?"

"No."

"Why?" Caser raises his eyebrows.

"Actually Johanna knocked me out. I've a concussion. I don't have clear memory of that night."

"Or you don't want to remember how he abandoned you?" He crosses.

"He never abandoned me." Katniss grits her teeth; her jaw tightens so hard that her cheekbones swell over her polished face.

"So Katniss," Caser nods at her sympathetically "Last night we got the medical report. It says you are not pregnant anymore."

Katniss tries to smile at the camera says "Yes, I lost the baby in the arena."

"I'm sorry." Caser looks at her sympathetically "But you can't deny that Mr. Mellark plans to leave you in the arena."

"I don't know his plans. He never tells me." Her finger traces the smooth plane of the armrest.

Annie grasps Katniss's arms. Her eyes are now wild. Katniss gives her a consoling nod and turns to the host.

"Are you sure?" Caser asks.

"Of course I do."

"Then you are confessing that he never loved you. The star-crossed lover thing is only a plan."

My eyes concentrate upon her face, the frown between her eyebrows, the lines forming in her forehead. I escape a glance of Finnick who is drinking Annie's face, her haggard look. I know he is feeling the same.

"I have not told that. I still love him. And I still want to go back to him." Katniss's soon ease the growing tension with a fake smile plastered upon her lips. "But everyone has a secret. Peeta has that too. But I know he does it all to save me."  
"But he risks the lives to many innocent people." Caser cuts her off "District 12 is destroyed. You've seen the footages."

With the single sentence Katniss's eyes stop moving. The smile disappears from her lovely face. Her face contorts in an effort as if she is in pain, inhales sharply, trying to make some words from her lips.

"Do you Katniss… still want to be the Mockingjay?"

"Who want…." Her body begins trembling, even Annie's hold can't steady her. Her wild eyes fixes over the camera, her lips move in a hissing whisper "No! I will never be the Mockingjay."

The audience gasps. I see Gale's face tenses. His jaw tightens. My breathing become shallow as I begin hyperventilate. I look at Finnick who seemed shocked too.

"It's a betrayal." He whispers. _Traitor, liar…_all the words begin flooding through the room. Even President Coin's words can't stop their outrage. Even some moments their angry eyes flash towards me. Probably they are not so sure about me too. Finnick and Haymitch garb my arms together in the right time and clear me from the outrageous crowd.

"No! I know she is trying to protect us." I struggle against their iron grip, ready to crush the crowd, to tell the truth'I know she wants us to go on with the rebellion. But Finnick and Haymitch are not ready to let me go. They begin dragging me towards my compartment.

"I say, they tortured her and make her say all of this." I shout at the top of my lungs. Yes, I'm not so violent person. But when it involves Katniss and her safety, I'm sure I'm ready to fight everything. But both of them are strong enough to pick me up, carry towards the tiny compartment.

"I know, Peeta, it is some kind of deal." Haymitch says, after depositing in my bed "She is dealing with capitol to protect us from becoming another district 12."

"But who will believe her now?" someone pushes the door open, the last person I expect to visit my compertment.

Gale!

There is a big gash in his forehead. Possibly he had a bit fight with the angry rebels about Katniss issue. But the angry youth is gone I met a few moments ago. Now he seems broken. May be I'm wrong but I see a drop of tear sparkling at the corner of his eyes. "Does she have any idea what damage she makes tonight?" He drops into a nearby couch holding his head between his fingers. "I know the rebels very clearly. No one believes our story."

Anger courses through my veins. "We must make them believe."

'You can't. Everyone knows that you want to save her." Haymitch whispers, turning his grey eyes upon me "Now the rebels are losing hope. All the time they waited for their Mockingjay. Now she is gone."

My chest tightens with his word. She is in a grave danger. She makes a deal, a dangerous deal. She will die whether in Capitol or the hands of the rebels. No one trusts her. She is just a pawn, a helpless pawn. My feet are getting cold. My throat feels dry. Angry tears begin flooding my vision.

"But…" I open my mouth.

"I know how you feel Peeta." Right then Finnick cuts me in. He lowers his sea green eyes into my blue one "Capitol planned it so well. They will torture them more; make them to say many other things in public. And they will make us to see that."

"What makes you so sure?"

"They will do whatever to break us all."

I gaze the sobbing Gale. Obviously he is broken. For a moment a bleeding, crying for help, gasping sharply for oxygen Katniss flashes tough my mind. My body loses control over myself as I collapse into the white sheets.

"I'm sorry boy." I hear Haymicth's whisper, Finnick's sigh, Gale's sob and the faint angry mutterings of the rebels outside.

Katniss is my life. I have made that fact public knowledge. To think all I wanted was to help her and now my affection for her has put her in the worst possible situation.

May be all of us are now in the worst situation. After this everyone will search for another face of rebellion. I know all the arrows are pointed towards me. But how can I do that? It means betraying her. How can I betray her? But I can't let this rebellion stop, leading many more people be dead like District 12.

But what can I do now?

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	3. Nightmares

**Thanks for all the reviews and subscriptions. You're angels! But I really need REVIEWS. I want to know what you think, what you want. It's like I'm writing to no one. I may sound mean but I'll not update if I don't get at least 5 reviews per chapter.**

**I wish I could do a neuron mapping to get Collin's powerful abilities (Don't tell me. I'd better do a research on genetics of mutts.)**

Nights come with all the terrifying dreams- mutts chasing my parents, brothers before Capitol bombs hit. This night a bleeding, burning, screaming, battered Katniss joins the cast. I lay on my bed, tangled in sheets paralyzed with horror, frantically searching for a tortured Katniss in the middle of the nights, only to find an empty bed and the loudly snoring Finnick in the next bed, murmuring Annie's name in sleep. After tossing and turning for hours, I finally accept that it will be a wakeful night. I wish I could scream like Katniss, thrashing around the bed while a pair of soft arms will hold me, comfort me saying everything will be alright soon.

Watching the empty bed, I've to realize that there is no one to hold me; no one is to whisper something comfortable in the middle of the night. At last letting a sigh to escape, I tiptoe to the window, let my body sink into a nearby chair. I lean my head against the back and close my eyes.

What I'll do now?

The whole rebellion is depending upon my one decision. But how can I take Katniss's place? My fingers run down to my knees where an artificial leg replaces the old one. The tourniquet- it took away the leg. But she did it to save my life.

My life! Don't I owe her so much?

Then how can I let her to be tortured this way?

"Feeling bad?" Finnick says. He is awake; sea green eyes piercing me through the darkness.

My head hangs to my chest. I'm not so good in concealing emotions.

"Everyone thinks her as a traitor. Both of us know through what she is going through."

I tilt my head so that the sky blue meets the green sea. Those are not the eyes I saw in the televisions long ago. Suddenly I find someone different there, more understanding besides my father.

"But…" I trail. His fingers press my shoulder. "Do you love her boy?"

His eyes are not questioning anymore. His peering glare is measuring the depth of my soul. Then what I must say to him. What kind of relation I actually share with Katniss? I tell the whole world about my love for her. But how much truth is in them? She loves Gale. Her eyes says that all. I can't force her loving me.

"I'm confused."

Finnick's eyelids drops, his lips twist into a familiar grin. "People tell me secrets, Peeta. And I know yours too."

Now I'm really confused.

In the morning, I see that _7:00-Breakfast _is directly followed by _7:30-Command_, which is fine since I may as well start the ball rolling. At the dining hall, I flash my schedule, which includes some kind of ID number, in front of a sensor. As I slide my tray along the metal shelf before the vats of food, I see breakfast is its usual dependable self-a bowl of hot grain, a cup of milk, and a small scoop of fruit or vegetables. Prim takes her seat beside Gale, longingly watching his mashed potatoes. Gale who slips a few pieces in her plate, under the watchful eyes of the guards, smiles at the little girl. His eyes meet me for once.

'President Coin wants to meet you after the breakfast." His voice is cold; his glare is burning me with the each look.

"But I think I'm supposed to attend the public communication class by then." I reply, munching some of my turnip.

"Missing one class will not stop you becoming another Caser Flickerman." Gale stubs his potatoes mercilessly, eyeing Prim who just smiles after all the time we met in the last six weeks.

"Peeta will make another great television host." She giggles. I smile back to her. Her eyes are shining with a genuine pleasure. It's such a relief that she actually doesn't hate me so much. Gale rolls his eyeballs and suddenly the pale potatoes on his plate become the most interesting thing in the room. I don't know what kind of feelings he had for me during the games. But now he actually hates me. I can't blame him for any of this feeling. Katniss is supposed to be grow with him, get married someday. Possibly it's me who stand between them, leading her to the dangerous path, abandoning her in the danger, leaving her to suffer. I can't blame him for any of this. Probably I should hate myself too.

Does Katniss hate me too?

That thought jumbles my brain for a second. I need to assemble that. So I plan to use a old trick which the Capitol doctors taught me after my first game, when I was much mentally distressed with my lost leg.

_I'm Peeta Mellark, seventeen years old, saved by district 13 from the quarter quell. My family is dead. Katniss is taken by Capitol. Her family hates me for that._

_Riiip!_ Someone draws a chair beside me. My head instantly turns towards my new companion- Prim.

"Peeta!" she whispers. Her blue eyes are locked into mine. Instantly I move my head, lower my eyes. I've not much courage left to face her sad eyes again. But her little hands find me again, caresses my chin, so that her sparkly blue eyes can pierce my soul once more.

"It's not our fault. It's not your fault that she is taken by them. You're not responsible that everyone is thinking her as traitor. I don't hate you Peeta." She tiny fingers curl around mine. Buttercup hisses at her feet. Gale glares.

"Prim!" I mumble. She sounds like thousand years old now. The trembling girl on the way to the reaping is gone. Does Katniss know that her little sister has grown up so much?

A small smile laces my lips. My finger caresses her smooth cheeks. "Thanks Prim. It's really nice to know that one less person hate me now."

"It's not a question of hate; it's the question of faith. I know you've always tried to protect her."

"But I failed. Capitol took her."

"Then you'll bring her back.."

My eyes widen at the tone of her voice- there is nothing but trust. She trusts me!

"But she refuses to be one." I say.

Then she does something that I never imagined before. She tiptoes and kisses my cheeks, whispers "Then you'll make her the Mockingjay. Don't you?" I nod. I'll try.

Another thought joins me. _I've to save her._

By the time I follow Gale (Who actually gives me a cold shoulder all the way) to Command, Coin, Plutarach, and all their people have already assembled. The television set has been brought in the middle. When we enter, Coin raises one eyebrow at Gale. Sure she isn't so happy with him after his clash with the angry rebels yesterday, deciding whether to throw him out or not. Plutarach gives her a distant cough. Haymitch looks more human than yesterday, shaved and gladly out of his drunken stupor.

"Sit down here, kid." He says without taking his eyes off from the screen. We take our seats in the last row again with Gale in the usual distance. All of them are waiting for the morning news.

Just when the clock ticks to 8:00, the screen comes into life. The newsreader reads about the usual prosperity and peace all around the country, advertise some fancy products in the breaks, reading out some announcements from President Snow.

"Who is our guest in the interview part?" The pink headed newsreader smiles to her companion.

"You know it well, Feiona." The green headed man smirks "The hot topic in the country."

My heart stops. I eye to Gale who is tensed under his apparently emotionless mask.

"So welcome our guest, Katniss Everdreen." With the announcement the camera moves to the studio where Caser Flickerman welcomes the audiences with the familiar grin. I forget to breathe when the camera focuses on the guest- Katniss.

She isn't the same girl I saw only 12 hours ago. The dark circle underlines her eyes, she looks skinner, and her eyes are moving with a terrified gaze. She curls up in a ball, like a frightened doe looking for a hiding spot. And today she is alone.

Caser pats her eyes sympathetically "So Katniss, what about your feelings about the attack on district 4, last night?"

My mouth hangs open.

"The rebels got desperate, attacking one after one?" Caser asks her.

She remains silent. Her eyes are locked at a distance.

"So Katniss…." Caser takes her hand, almost whispering "They killed your district, many innocent people. Do you still support them? Peeta is now one of them. Do you want to join him again?"

Her eyelids flickers at the sound of my name, her face twists in a mocking grin of a decomposing corpse "Who wants…" She gasps again "I told you I'll never join them. I never will."

A noise of disappointment rises in the room.

"No! Katniss, don't be silly." Suddenly I do something really silly. I run near the screen knowing it is useless, practically hugging the television "Don't." I whisper.

'Peeta, she can't hear you." Haymitch's arms find me instantly, pulling me away from the television. "Don't act like an idiot." He says. But my whole body is trembling.

"It's a trick." Gale's voice echoes among the rising noise. I see him standing from his seat, practically begging to Coin "She is tricked."

Unfortunately she can't hear any of us.

"NEVER! NEVER!" her voice continues reaching to the higher octaves before the peacekeepers grab her arms and drag her away from the screen.

The screen becomes dark.

The telephone begins ringing- calls from the other districts!

Coin rises to receive the calls while Haymitch accompanies me to the seat where an angry Gale hissing in a chair next to mine.

"It's your fault." He hisses through tears.

"Why you call me here?" I turn to Haymitch "To make me to see all of these?"

"Nope!" He grins again. I wish I could burn him to the ashes right now. He takes a glance at hissing Gale and whispers "I want both of you work together."

"What?"

My whole body is full of dissatisfaction; my every being wants to scream at him but Haymitch stops me.

"Look at her." He says pointing to Coin.

Coin's face is turning grimmer with each word coming from the other side.

"The rebels of District 4 decides to leave the team." At last she puts down the receiver.  
'What!" all our mouths hang open with the announcement.

"We've worked for this for so long." Now Boggs muses "But we never imagine this?"

"They are disappointed." Plutarach takes a sip from his glass "After all they've waited for the Mockingjay so long."

"We've planned all the time." Flavia sighs.

"But we can't lose them." Gale speaks after a long pause "I'll go there and convince them."

Coin's mouth twists into a sly grin "Soldier Gale, I don't think they will be convinced by you. You're not a well known face of the rebellion."

"But I've saved the survivors of District 12." Gale insists, face red with anger "And I've spend my life with Katniss."

"But you're only her cousin." Now Haymitch who drops the bomb "You're not her pair in the star-crossed lover plan."

"But I'm not her cousin." He says.

"People still eat the star- crossed lover theme." Plutarach cuts him off.

My head is spinning. Who actually cares for Katniss? She is suffering in the Capitol while the rebels are treating her as a traitor and I'm sitting here silently measuring the amount of my guilt. Gale is willing to step forward for her, and I'm…

A coward!

Did I really love her? Or everything is just a Capitol made illusion?

"_You'll make her the Mockingjay, Don't you?"_

Shouldn't I do something? For her? For my family? For the remainder of my people? My skin itches with the ashes of the dead. The burnt rubbles of Mellark Bakery crumble under my feet.

My head shot up.

My eyes meet Plutarach for a second. He nods.

"I'll go to district 4." My voice is still horse "I'll convince them." My eyes turns to Gale who stands at a distance, measuring my honesty "We'll convince them about the ongoing of the rebellion- Gale and me together. Both of us closely related to the Mockingjay. Probably they will not distrust us both."

Dead silence!

Gale stands there stunned. I feel his body tense, his muscles swells up beneath his smooth skin. If he thinks that I want to humiliate him, let him think. But I'm ready to do everything for Katniss.

Flavius seems unimpressed. Possibly she can feel the rising tension between us.

"Alright, then we can play the romance thing mixed with family sentiment!" says Plutarach, enthusiastic.

"Alright!" Says Coin flatly.

"That's what I want." Plutarach mutters under his breath "A young man fighting to save his love."

"It's it wonderful." Flavius massages his sore back "We'll get Poulax and Cressida packed for district 4."

"So that's what you want!" I hear Gale's mutterings under his breath. His grey eyes are burning like Seam coal.

I decide to ignore him.

"And another thing." I clear my throat. All the eyes are turned to look at me. "I'll not be the face of the rebellion."

"What?" Both Plutarach and Coin almost yell at unison. Gale looks a bit distracted.

"Then what do you want, Peeta?" Coin shoots back not missing the tone.

After a dramatic pause I decide to declare "Katniss will remain as the Mockingjay."

"No!" Coin says flatly, hiding behind her mask again "Do you know how much damage your decision will make? The rebels think her as the traitor."

"Then you'd better give up district 4 from your team." I reply, my voice doesn't weaver a bit. My whole body is trembling with anger under Plutarach's hopeful gaze, with Haymitch's appreciating pressure on my hand "Bravo, boy. I want you to speak up." I frown at him, not willing to talk. So that's all this sober man wants from me.

Coin stares at me. I keep staring back at her, not wanting to lose the challenge.

"All right, Soldier Mellark." For the first time ever, I see the hint of a smile on the president's lips "Agreed. But you can still reconsider your decision."

"I've decided." I declare without any second thought.

**REVIEWS? FAVORITES? FOLLOWS?**

**From now on Peeta will be bolder and things will not be so easy for him because the story is twisted.**

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	4. Mending

**This chapter will be long because I want to move into the real theme ASAP. Possibly you're yawning with the details but I want it to be tasted like the original novel.**

**Your REVIEWS will be the best reward for my endless effort for last 7 sleepless nights. So please speak up, let me know what you think. I've barely 8 reviews (It's great, yet I expect a little more because I've a high expectation on it.) I'm on my knees guys, please COMMENT and help me overcoming the limitations. **

**I wish I could write like Collin. Sadly I can't. (Sighs!)**

District 4 is a large district surrounded by sea. As soon as the hovercraft reaches the border the salty sea air welcomes us.

"That's my home." Finnick takes a deep breath, sea green eyes closed. His one hand still wraps around mine, the gentle pressure on my wrist is telling how much pain he is holding back inside. But I don't like a sad Finnick, I really don't. All the times in the undergrounds of 13, he is my only friend along with Haymitch.

"It's good to be home." I try to smile.

"May be." He nods. The sad tone in his voice makes something stirring inside me. Home?

None of us have home any more.

No home, no love.

My eyes move towards Gale, motionless in his couch. Does he think like me too?

I can't read his mind.

The hovercraft makes a quick, spiral descent onto a wide beach on the outskirts of 4. Almost immediately, the door opens, the stairs slide into place, and we're left into the destination. The camera crews- Cressida a Capitol woman with shaved head and green tattoo, followed by her brother Pollux (who never talks, but the way he swallows I immediately know that he is an avox.), her assistant Messalla, the pierced man all over the places carrying all the equipments. The others of the team follow us- Finnick, Gale and Boggs.

The second hovercraft comes with people in white aprons, the medics with all the medical supplies. While I keep wondering what they are for, a tiny blond figure with twin braids catches my eyes, among the rows of six medics- Prim!

My head gives a slight spin, what on earth Prim is doing here in the middle of the war? My eyes meet Finnick in a questioning gaze but he signs to stay calm.

Boggs leads the medics towards the a fallen brown house marked with a battered signboard "Hospital", while Finnick leads the rest of us down to another abandoned pub. I eye Prim again, who instantly catches my gaze and gives a cheerful smile. She looks more mature, like a doctor in white apron, even among all the grownups, spectacled, grey haired men; she easily catches your eye. I see the genuine pleasure in her blue orbs being a true medic after all.

'Be careful!" I mouth at her.

"Don't worry." She smiles back, waving for once; she disappears behind the battered door.

"Do you think it is a good idea?" Gale eyes at me, not I'm wrong, his grey are locked upon Katniss's little sister.

"What?" I say, carefully not meeting his grey eyes.

"Don't you think there is something behind this, sending this little girl in the middle of the war? She is only a beginner." He takes a deep breath "What can she do here?"

My head shot up with his comment. Unwillingly, I can't but stop looking into his eyes. "She won't be here if you never come with us." He whispers "I wouldn't forgive you if something happens to her."

His eyes locks into mine, trying to burn me with his fire. I couldn't really blame him for that.

It is a sign, a warning.

And both of us understand it well.

"I would never let anything happen to her." I say without missing the tone.

"Boys!" soon another deep voice startles both of us and we decide to drop this blaming game. It is Finnick who hurries over us from the abandoned pub accompanied by a grey haired, middle aged man with thick mustache and square face in sea blue army jacket. To me he looks more like a fisherman than the leader of the rebellion.

As they approach near us, Finnick introduces the newcomer "Here boys, this is commander Cresta, from district 4."

So he is Annie Cresta's father, Finnick's would be father-in-law!

Commander Cresta throws us both an unsatisfied glare, while his blue eyes continue train upon us, especially me. I feel Gale tense beside me, and Commander Cresta's eyes continue piercing my soul. I try to ignore his gaze, full of hate which almost makes me to feel like naked in the public. I know what he wants to say, his daughter is taken by Capitol for me. So all he has reserved for me is hatred and nothing else.

"We've come to talk with you sire about…." I finally decide to begin but Commander Cresta's hand rises, stopping me.

"I've my word with Coin.' He says, quiet and clam.

"But Mr. Cresta, Miss Everdreen never…." Finnick tries to interrupt with his usual charm "And Annie is…"

But Mr. Cresta's powerful gaze even silences the ever distracting Finnick. He turns at us and says "Look boys, we've waited for the Mocking jay for long enough. When she is not with us then we're not with district 13 anymore."

"She is tricked." At last I speak up "She is tricked by Capitol. I know sir, she isn't doing it willingly."

"Sir, I grow up with her since she was eleven." It's the time when Gale joins me. "She can do everything to save her family."

I was surprised at first but the next time I decide to join him too. There is no question of jealousy when it involves the woman we both love "Yes, she had risked her life to save mine. I tell you trust her."

Mr. Cresta's eyes are instantly locked upon both of us, still not satisfied. "I know you both, one is her lover, another one her cousin." He gaze never softens as he motions to Finnick. "Show them the way."

I feel Gale's unhappy moves and Finnick's whispering in my ears "I want both of you work together."Now he sounds like Haymitch. I eye at Gale, still with creases on his forehead, not much sure about the crazy things happening here. I wish he keeps himself in senses.

"But if you can convince our rebels to trust in you, I'm all yours." Mr. Cresta waves us towards the door. "Come in lover boy. And bring your friend."

I glance back at the freak show that is my crew, steel myself, and follow him into the abandoned pub. Some sort of heavy, old fashioned wooden door hangs the length of the building, forming a sizable corridor. The rebels- some sitting, some lying, some drunken are scattered here and there. All of them throw us a "hate to see you" type look as we pass. When we reach the end of the corridor, we see a small passage connecting the rebel house with the hospital.

'Why should I live for?" We hear an indigent cry from the other side of the curtain "Why should we join them when they betray us?" Curiously we all peep through the curtain to find a woman with bleeding leg, half chopped from the thigh, tears running through her pale cheeks and Prim is struggling hard dressing the wound.

"No!" I hear Gale's pained voice, eyes training the whole situation, the almost crying Prim and the yelling woman "I know you, sister of the traitor! Go away from me."

"She is not!" Prim tries to say but the woman hardly listens to her. If she isn't a handicap then sure she would push Prim out of her sight.

My fingers wraps around Gale's "Please, we need to work together."

'We shall." He answers quietly.

"That's the situation." I hear Mr. Cresta speaking with Finnick with a disappointment in his voice. I can feel the reason. Katniss was their inspiration and when she is gone, the spirit is gone too. I step through the curtain and my senses are assaulted. My first impulse is to cover my nose to block out

the stench of soiled linen, putrefying flesh, and vomit, all ripening in the heat of the abandoned building. The medics hurrying all over the wounded but each and everyone is denying any help from 13.

"No help from a traitor." At last the shouting woman pushes back Prim, who cringes, blue eyes searching for help- not for her but the dying image of her dear sister. The joy of helping sick is gone, replaced by a worried look. Glancing at the doorway she is the first one noticing me.

"Peeta!" she rushes near me, wraps her arms around my middle, tears socking my grey district 13 uniform. "Hush! Prim!" I try to say but ended up with patting her trembling back. Things are worse than I've ever imagined. Mending a broken image isn't easy always.

Can I do this? My palm begins to sweat. I'm not of a nervous kind, still the whole rebellion standing just upon our ability to convince them.

"She doesn't trust Katniss!" Prim raises her crying face from my shirt "No one does!"

"It will be alright, Prim!" I gently wipe the tear from her face, take her hand, and walk down to the narrow strip of the rows of the beds, stop near the woman yelling earlier with Prim. Her emotionless eyes gazing through the skylight above turn instantly at us.

"You're Peeta!" her face twists into a mocking grin "The lover boy from District 12! But I've no business with you, boy!"

Prim glances at me, nods. She is clearly disappointed.

"But you have to listen to us!" Gale is impatient "Even if you don't even want."

Grief! Disappointment! Hatred! All the emotions I can read when she looks at us. "But why should I?" Her face twists with pain as she tries to rise from her bed. Prim rushes to help but she denies. "My daughter dies in the hunger games. She was only 12 then." Tear courses through her cheeks "My husband died in the bombing in last month. I join the rebels with a hope to take the revenge. She was our hope. But she betrays us." She coughs with the last words. I offer my hand to support, but she denies again. "She betrays us all, our hope, and our dream." She continues, gasping for air.

Prim runs to soothe her.

"Let's go from here." Gale hesitates "We better talk with Mr. Cresta. May be we can show him our plan for the rebellion and convince him that rebellion will go on no matter what happens. We'll ask for rescuing Annie. We can rescue Katniss too."

"Sounds good!" I'm almost half agreed with Gale. His plan sounds better than convincing the mass. If we can get Katniss back then we can show them…..

Watching the suffering woman and her injured leg, I can partly picture myself in the cave during the first games, almost dying from blood poisoning and Katniss nursing me to life, planning to risk her life to get the medicine from the feast. She tells me a story.

Yes, all this woman needs a story, full of hope.

"Mam!" I cough. The woman instantly looks at me, annoyed. "I've some words with you." The woman nods, tired. Gale raises one eyebrow as I settle myself at the edge of her soiled bed. I ignore him and lock my peering gaze into her green eyes.

"When I was in the first games, I was injured, almost dying from blood poisoning. I was losing my hope. I knew I was dying for sure. I remember my family, their sad faces crying over my dead body…."

My story continues. Rebels moving from their beds, the corridor gather around us. Those who are bedridden try to peep through the gathering crowd. I know I'm always a good story teller, like my painting I can give life to words. This time I pour all my emotions in every words, every tones, picture my Katniss, the brave girl who lied so that I couldn't stop her from sacrificing herself. How she knocked me out with sleep syrup and got almost killed in the feast.

Tears well up from my eyes when I remember her double deal with Haymitch during the Quarter Quell to save my life, how she cried when my heart stopped from the shock. People watch me with teary eyes. Even Gale wipes a stray tear from the corner of his eyes adding some bits and pieces in the stories- her devotion for her family, her sacrifice for her sister. Prim is sobbing again. Even Boggs stands at a distance, watches me, measuring the depth of my emotions. A new sensation begins to germinate inside me. But it takes until I am standing on a table, uttering my final

words to teary eyed crowd, to define it. Words. Power. I have a kind of power over words I never knew I possessed. Snow knew it, as soon as he met me in the game interview. Plutarch knew when he saw my paintings. And Coin knows now.

No, not only me. I glance at Gale, who is smiling too. Love. It conquers all.

"Do you know who the best friend is?" My voice is heavy when I finish the last word.

"I know her." A little boy with a bandage around head stutters the silence "Katniss! Katniss Everdreen!"

All the heads turn towards him. After a pause I hear her name rippling through the hot air, spreading out into the hospital. "Katniss! Katniss Everdreen!" Despite her controversial interview with Caesar they again show their interest in her again, asking us what might lead her to these words. Gale and I are snatched by the curious people, eager to know the truth. We assure them that we know she was speaking under pressure. I do my best to sound positive about our future, and at last people are truly showing their faith upon her.

I see Prim's smile, Gale's enthusiastic laughter. At last I begin to feel really good.

Deal or no deal with Coin, now I'm sure that Katniss will always remain the Mockingjay.

At last when the crowd let us go, Gale shakes my hand while Boggs leads us towards the main corridor where the rest of the rebels wait for us. "You did great, Peeta." Boggs pats my shoulder.

Cressida has already rolled up her flimsy reflectors, the portable cameras, smiling. "It's a great footage, Peeta! When we air it I'm sure everyone will get their faiths back on Katniss." My heart soars.

Yes I could! I could mend her broken image. Katniss! My Katniss! Had she ever felt that I feel for her? Or everything was a haze?

No! I try to clear my head, trying not to look at Gale. No jealousy! Nothing! I want her to be happy. When she will come back she will choose whomever her heart breaks to give up.

It is almost 5.00 pm after saying goodbye to Cressida and her team heading towards district 13 again. "Your footage will be aired an hour later!" She says waving me goodbye. After that when we reach the common corridor Finnick rushes near us and hugs me tightly. "You did a great job friend!" he says, kissing my cheek. It's sometimes really annoying with Finnick's behavior especially his kiss (besides Katniss's kisses, him! Oh forgive me! I'm not the batting girls from Capitol.) . "Ah Finnick!" I wipe my cheek. But he keeps the huge grin plastered upon his face.

"You mend Annie's image too." He whispers while he leads me to the main hall room. The rebels gather around a big television in the centre, no more burning us with the hated glares. Commander Cresta welcomes us with a warm smile. It's really a positive outcome coaxing a smile from this man after the day's exhaustion. Even Gale looks cheerful after all the time. Prim is busy in the hospital, the patients welcome her well now.

At dinner, all of us seat there watching some boring Capitol programs. Almost an hour later Beetee cuts in, the Capitol channel disappears, instead the Hospital room of District 4 comes alive again, our story is told all over the world. Katniss, the name of the Mockingjay is chanted again in the silver screen as well as in the television room of district 4.

Tear wells up from my eyes as Finnick hugs me again "People should know that happened. And now they do." Mr. Cresta shakes my hand. "Well done boy!" he pats my shoulder. Gale genuinely smiles this time "May I should volunteer your place in the games."

The telephone begins ringing. Cresta runs over and receive the calls. Only a second later he has to hand it over me "Your call, Peeta."

"Yes!" I speak over the telephone, but I hear Plutarach's enthusiastic voice, "Bravo boy! It's dazzling! The other districts also begin believe in you."

"All I did for Katniss!" I say.

'Yes, the star crossed lovers!" Plutarach replies "People eat the sentiment. Even you bring me tears."

"Stop that!" I slam the receiver down. But that was only the beginning. Calls from other districts begin coming begging to talk with me. So I talk with almost hundred people, mostly (excluding Haymitch. "You should be Caser!" That sober man mocks.) unknown asking for the truth. Most of them are doubtful about my statement, demanding how I manage so many people to act for the propos.

I continue the tiresome job of convincing while Finnick and rest of the audiences yawns, leave the room one by one. But it is very clear that our effort wasn't as successful as I thought. Finnick continues sweeping through the channels before deciding to turn the television off. When I become free to join him the room is almost empty except two of us.

"I think I've to visit every district now." I sink into sofa beside him "People hardly believe the propos."

"Hmm.. People. They will never stop distrusting." He says. I yawn, still disappointed.

Then what I must do to make them believe? I'm sure no one will believe her until we can bring her back. All are not the simple minded district 4 people, they are complicated. And we still have a hard job to do.

"I'm tired." I say at last.

"Then go to sleep." Finnick reaches for the remote control to turn the television off. "Wait!" suddenly I cry. The Capitol is introducing a special segment and something about it looks familiar.

Yes, it's Caesar Flickerman. And I can guess who his guest will be.

Katniss appears again in the television once again accompanied by Annie. But her physical transformation shocks me. In a single day she has turned into a living skeleton, even the Capitol groomers couldn't give her enough flesh over the bone. Her hands are trembling in a nervous tremor, Annie holds her to keep her steady.

My mind reels. No what they have done to her? I feel my own body trembling if not Finnick holds me tight.

Caesar and Katniss have a few empty exchanges before Caesar asks her about rumors that I'm taping propos for the districts.

"What do you think about this Katniss?" Caser asks "He still refers you as Mockingjay."

She remains silent. Her vacant grey eyes are staring into nothingness.

'Katniss!" Caser asks again.

Again she remains silent. Finnick rises the volume that we can hear clearly.

'Say it, Katniss!" Annie whispers 'Say it." Her words make her stir.

"There is," says Katniss. She looks directly into the camera, right into my eyes. "Peeta…." Her voice is husky "Prim… she inhales sharply, as if fighting for air; her eyes look insane.."And rebels of four you'll be dead by thirty minutes."

"No!" It is Gale who gasps, still in pajamas.

Off camera, Snow orders "End it!" I glance at the clock, 2.00 am. Everyone is sleeping- the guards, the rebels, Prim…

Tick tock. One minute… Katniss's attempt to continue speaking.

Two minutes…

"We must get everyone behind the underground banker." Finnick orders to Gale.

The camera knocked down to record the white tiled floor. Annie jumps to cover Katniss but the peacekeepers knock her off.

Tick tock. Five minutes…. Finnick freezes for a second.

"How far it is?" Gale asks.

"Almost two miles away."

"We' must get everyone soon." Finnick sprints towards the other rooms. Me and Gale head towards the hospital.

The program continues running on high volume.

The scuffle of boots. The impact of the blow that's inseparable from Katniss's cry of pain.

We hear the faint shuffles of hovercrafts at a distance.

Tick tock. Ten minutes…they are coming.

Another painful cry.

And blood as it Katniss's splatters the tiles.

**If you review, Peeta will meet Katniss in person in the next chapter.**


	5. I've lost Prim

I have never been such horrible situation. Though I've survived two hunger games but now it seems almost impossible. The time is running out. I wish Finnick can get the other rebels out of their drunken slumber and lead them to the safety banker. Gale is turning around the hospital like a whirlwind, gathering the patients, all the sick and injured. Most of them are panic. The medics, the immobile or mobiles are all in same situation.

"How can we go?" the young woman who lost her left leg clutches my wrist. The bloody bandage across the stump is socked, the smell of decomposing flesh is almost making me nauseated.

"Come here, follow me." Gale is calling the others, a bunch of patients accompanied by their doctors rush through the tiny entrance. It is almost impossible to pass through the tiny gate.

Tick tock. Twenty five minutes…

More and more hovercrafts join the first one in the sky.

"Where we will go?"

'It is not possible."

The panicked words, the frightened faces, among all these a small baby begins crying adding more panic to the crowd.

"Stop it." Irritation rises among the people "They will know our location."

The mother is trying to hush the baby, but the scuffling of the hovercraft startles it.

"Give him to me." Gale takes the little baby in his arms. I am just amazed with his bravery. May be, may be he is much better than me in controlling situations.

At last we can lead all the patients and the medics out of the hospital. The shuffling of the hovercraft is approaching closer and closer. We run.

Unfortunately it's really hard for me to walk with my prosthetic leg, moreover when I'm carrying the disable woman in my arms.

'Hurry." I hear Gale saying to the crowd. Soon I join him too. the night sky is almost clear with the bright flashlight as the hovercraft begins gathering around the abandoned rebel house. But we have already crossed the mountain and in a safe distance from them.

Tick tock. Thirty seconds.

The flashlight almost blinds our eyes. And the first bomb drops.

We stop near an old banker, a tiny door opens while Finnick, Boggs and Mr. Cresta welcomes us inside. We haul the rest of the frightened people while their frightened eyes begin searching for the safe shelter. I dump my rider in a muddy bed at a corner, panting with all the exhaustion I've sustained; I let myself flattened over the floor.

It is dark inside. There is no electricity in there.

In the dark I feel the people now flooding across the tiny room, holding each other, not caring even if they are related. All they want some comfort, some support to hold on. Mr. Cresta and Finnick are busy in talking about something I guess I must be about Annie. Gale collapses at another corner, exhausted. I hear his heavy sigh, feel the lines of pain riddling his handsome face. I even don't want to meet his eyes.  
I know how he feels in the right moment.

How I actually feel?

Grief, guilt, pain, loss….even every other kind of emotions I can hardly process. All I did just to mend up our lost Mockingjay's image, but in result I brings her a great havoc. I close my eyes shut, trying to imagine what else Snow can do to her. Torture her, whip her, burn her….

Or Kill her?

"Peeta!" I can even hear her dying whisper in a darkness of a closed Capitol hell, blood trickling down along her neck.

"Goodbye, Mockingjay!" blood trickles down along Snow's red lips.

"Peeta!" My eyes fly open with a voice from beside. Finnick.  
"Don't worry Peeta, they won't kill her."

Anger courses through my veins. I pull myself up from the lying position now staring back into his green eyes in the dark "How could you possibly know that?"

"They have my Annie." His smile is grim "They won't kill her, Peeta. Just like they won't kill my Annie."

"What makes you so sure?"

" Because her father is leading district 4, like you are leading us. They will do whatever it takes to break you."

I nod as I finally understand his words. They will torture her, beat her, and do whatever they want to do to her to render my useless – to break me. Katniss is my life. I have made that fact public knowledge. To think all I wanted was to help her and now my affection for her had put her in the worst possible situation. It may get her killed. "Finnick, are you broken?"

"No." He tells me in a soft, quick tone.

"Why?" My head shot up, surprised.

He says nothing but points towards the other side of the room where there is a single candle burning and Mr. Cresta is talking over an old telephone. Watching my curious look he slumps down the receiver and nods.

"President Coin from District 13 is amused with Katniss's wit. She decides to send a party to rescue her. So she chooses Mr. Howthrone to lead the mission."

"What?" my jaw drops, surprised.

This time Gale's eyes lights up with joy. He stands up from his sitting position and nods "I'll go."

()()()

The rest of the night passes like almost a nightmare. We have no idea how many of us managed to escape that night. In the dark we can't even mange to see the faces or count the heads. Yet I want to believe that all of us make a good escape.

I jolt wake with a hard knock at the door. a frightened whisper rises among the panicked people, while they again begin tangle with one another.

"Who?" Mr. Cresta at last decides to speak up.

'Me, Marsella, from District 13." A familiar voice speaks from the other side "We come to take Peeta and the others back to 13."

We all exchange looks, relived at last. Mr. Cresta walks over the door and opens it.

"Of course." I hear him talking while Finnick hauls me up on my feet. He is wearing a big grin, possibly from the hope of saving Annie. Gale is already ready, so the medics of 13.

"Come on." Mr. Cresta waves towards us "They are here to take you back."

A large hovercraft is waiting for us, as we follow his lead. For the first time in the day light I can see the ruin of district 4. Ash flying all over the places, covering the green tress with thick layers of grey. The air smelt like ash too.

Like my visit in the district 12.

The rest of 4 follow us, teary eyes, saying goodbye. The young woman who was much rude with us earlier now hugs me, saying "Thanks Peeta." Her eyes are teary "I'll miss the little medic of yours Prim."

"I'll say that you are…." I hug her back. and suddenly my words stops at the midsentence.

The rest of district 13 team has already boarded in the hovercraft. Gale is talking something with Marsella, he is taking another hovercraft for the rescue mission to Capitol. Now the medics are boarding.

But wait…someone is missing.

One, two, three, four, five and….

Suddenly my blood freezes in my veins. There is no one with two golden plaits, small slender figure among them.

Prim is not there.

"Where is Prim?" I look at my companions wildly; none of them have seen her.

No! Now I can't loose her. I can't loose Katniss, I can't loose her sister either.

'What happened Peeta?" Mr. Cresta throws me a wild look while I rush inside the bunker calling for Prim.

No she isn't anywhere.

I remember I saw her last night before saying goodnight. Suddenly I realize she wasn't even there when we hauled the people out of the hospital. Then where is she? I remember the ashy ruins of the rebel house. I squeeze my eyes shunt as if I'm waiting for a mutt attack. "Oh, no," Mr. Cresta says. We both know I'm right. I rush out of the banker, wild eyes, Boggs is waiting for me outside.

"Everyone is boarded, Peeta. Gale is already gone for his mission." He says.

No! What I'll answer Katniss now. I turn my wild eyes to him and say "Prim is missing."  
'What?" he jerks, holding my shoulder tightly.

'Yes." I nod almost at the verge of tears. Boggs is stunned.

"Before the bomb strikes, she is gone to the jungle to get her cat." Right then someone says from behind.  
Both of us turn towards the informer.  
'Where?" I ask almost desperate.

"There.' He points to the north, where the green trees had turned into fossils.

"No!" I whisper.

"Peeta, I'm sorry." I feel Boggs hand over my shoulder. But no, I brush him away of my way.

The next time I find myself running through the woods.

**What happens to Prim? Or will Peeta & Katniss ever meet again?**

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	6. Katniss

It feels like the games again. One more time I find myself running for life though the woods. No, not for my own life this time, but for another more precious one than mine. The air of district 4 tastes like salt, so my tears, the ash covers my boots, half burnt twigs hug my legs, the dying fire lights the path.

"Prim, Prim." I cup my hands over my mouth and call her name. But my words keep coming back to me like an echo, mocking my desperation. The air is heavy with some strong pungent smell; I have to hold my breath to keep myself alive in this ruin. But now after this long time, my lungs are about to explode.

My eyes search the surroundings; the once green forest has become nothing but a pile of coal, still burning from Capitol rage. Dead animals lying at my feet, there is no sign of life around me. I shout Prim's name again, but the words only keep coming back. Suddenly I realize I have nothing to do. Here I am standing alone, only living creature among the kingdom of dead.

All of a sudden I my knees begin to feel very weak. I have survived two hunger games, I have fought for like, I defeated the carriers, I lived through a Capitol bombing, I have never felt so weak. But realizing the truth about Katniss's precious sister, my heart sinks into my stomach. Suddenly a surge of emotions take me over, I can hardly process. My knees buckle as I hunch over the ground.

"Peeta." A pair of booted footsteps stops behind me, a calloused hand touches my shoulder. I literally turn to find Boggs standing behind me; his middle aged face is veiled with grief.

"I'm sorry about her."

"No, it's not true." I snarl, sending some inspiration to my brain 'We must search again."

"But you have already searched half of the forest." Boggs shake his head, unconvinced. I know his sympathy is genuine, I must learn the truth. Prim is dead, possibly the fire devoured her last remnant. I've failed, again. I can't keep my promise to Katniss. I need to admit that. But I can't. I'm too angry with what just happened. All I think how unfair the reality is, the whole hunger games, the rebellion. Why this must happen? Why Capitol has to do this- to my family, Prim or Katniss? Why? Why? Why Snow can't spare our lives and entertain his silly Capitol followers with some bunch full of lies? The longer I think, my fury tends to surface until I literally push Boggs away from way and take another step ahead.

"Peeta, where are you going?" I hear his voice from behind, still shocked from my weird behavior."I know it's really hard for you. But you must understand the truth. No one can survive here."

"Move." I decide to ignore him. I take another step forward among the dead animals and burnt willows while the darkness has concealed me. I hope Boggs has stopped following me. I need no one for help, I have never asked for any help. My eyes catch a slope few meters away, still green untouched by the fire. The forest is so deep there; that it is really hard to say what is inside the darkness. If I can get down, I can guarantee a chance.

'Peeta, Peeta!" I hear Boggs calling my name. But no I can't stop now. I can't stop until I find Prim.

So I hang my legs at the edge, let myself slip down along the slope into the morning light. Yes, through the small sunlight that has reached through the thick shade of green leaves above, I see a small figure, sunny hair shining like gold, lying among the dry leaves with the ugliest cat on guard. I pause for a second for a clearer look, now I can see her. A knowing smile laces my lips- Prim.

Prim, Katniss's precious little sister, has heard my footsteps over the dry leafs possibly, because she sits up, eyes takes a wild gaze around her. Her cat mews and snuggles closer.

"Prim!" I whisper.

She hears me. She turns her head; our eyes instantly lock with each other.

"Peeta!" A knowing smile crosses her face. She tries to stand up, as soon as she put her weight upon her foot, her face twists into a odd way, lines of pain riddles her tiny features.

'Prim." I hurry close to her before she crumbles on the ground. Sure enough she is hurt and with one look to her swollen ankle I can realize the fact though my mother is not a healer.

I kneel beside her. "So I guess, our little healer got herself in trouble."

'Buttercup is hurt." Prim smiles, still hugging her cat tight. I notice the cat got a bandage around his left paw. "So I came here to get some…"

"Yeah, lucky cat." I grimace remembering all the things I had to go through this morning "I guess, I'd better be Buttercup than being Peeta, and then I wouldn't have worried my brain off for you."

"You'd make the cutest cat ever then." She jerks her head and laughs.

"Would you mind if I become your pet?" I give her the water bottle and offer a sip. It's really hard to remain serious with her.

Her blue eyes again lock into mine "I won't. But Katniss would try you to drown then."

"Why?"

"She would like to wash you that way." she says, for a second her clear blue eyes turns stormy, I know what she is thinking. For second another memory flashes into my mind, the first games when she tried to wash my clothes when I was injured. We both gaze at each other, trying to absorb the truth about her fate.

The silence is really painful. At last I decide to break it. "Well, Prim, let me take you back."

Prim jerks with my words, but nods. Her eyes are still teary from the recall, she doesn't say any word. "Can you?" I ask. She is still in shock but nods. But when I start to help her on my shoulder, the confidence disappears. Her ankle is badly hurt; she is too weak that she is almost unable to move. She wraps her arms around my shoulder to keep herself straight, but from her teary eyes, I can tell that all she was doing to resist the sharp cry of pain escaping from her. She has barely shifted her weight over her ankle, teeth gritted, tears cutting trails through her face; crumbles into the ground again.

'Prim.' I kneel beside her; her face is white with agony, eyes shining with the impending cry. "I'll carry you."

The little girl raises her teary eyes to me; I can see the pain there. "No Peeta." She protests "You can't carry me with the leg."

Sweet Prim! She is still concerned with my artificial leg.

"I can." I insist. She keeps protesting, but soon I pick her up in my arms in bridal way. "See, I can." I smile.

Prim smiles and kisses my cheek. "But Buttercup?"

"Ok, he can have a ride." I smile back.

Slowly we begin making our way up to the slope. With my prosthetic leg and Prim's weight, it's a challenge to climb. I have to pause every second, mouth wide open, gasping for air. Prim insists me to drop her but I decide to ignore her again. I must keep my promise. I must take Prim safely to home, to Katniss.

I've no idea if they can rescue her from the Capitol hell. Does she ever think about me? Does she ever love me or still pretending with the little piece of information so that it keeps her alive? But the little pretences have taken her to the door of death. Then why she still keeps acting? Had she ever loved me for real?

Fortunately we find Boggs still waiting for us above. His lips twist into an affectionate smile when he notices us, walks beside me and takes Prim in his arms. We don't need to exchange any words, his grateful eyes say that all.

"Well done, soldier." At last he smiles first time in the day. "We are alive." I smile back. "Let's go back." Prim's eyes lights up and we begin our journey back home. All on a sudden even the ruin begins to seem much more beautiful than before.

Suddenly the birds fall silent. One of them gives a high pitched warning call. One single note- like once Katniss taught me. Three of us fall stop at our pace. Boggs's body tenses. "Peeta!" This time it is Prim who clutches my shirt, almost whispering.

"Take cover." Boggs begins moving to a nearby shady tree, Prim's face is white.

'What?" I am almost puzzled. I throw him a questioning look, but instead he turns his blue eyes to the sky where the forest is still burning. I follow him. High above the dying fire a hovercraft materializes. A set of metal claws drops down with a net in it's clutch. I narrow my eyes, there is a passenger inside. Slowly, gently the claws drop down the passenger and she lands on the ground in a heap. The hovercraft disappears.

Both of us exchange looks, still shocked. The passenger has pulled herself in a erect posture by this time. Now we can see the single plait lying loosely on her back. I feel Prim's grasp around me getting firm. She looks so familiar.

Next time my breath catches inside my throat as she turns her face towards us.

Katniss!

I can't believe my own eyes even. She is here, alive and well-maybe not well but alive. I have no idea why Snow decides to return her, still I'm content with the realization that she is once again away from Snow. Safe. Here. With me. I step out from our hiding spot. "Peeta, it may be a plan." I hear Boggs's warning. But I don't care. Katniss? How can she be a plan?

Her eyes are still wide with shock; maybe she has never expected the forest turning into a burning ruin. She is dressed into a white gown, the loose ends flying in the wind; she seems much more beautiful than usual. With the burning forest in the background, the girl on fire looks just like the rising phoenix.

I keep moving despite Boogs's warning tone. In a minute I can touch her. See her smile. Hear her laugh.

"Katniss." I call for her. Her eyes stop wondering, those stormy pupils locks into mine. Her face becomes straight, she doesn't' move an inch. Her eyes become still on me. I wonder if she is breathing even. Does her giddy mind trying to make up all the times we lost? Alright we'll have all the times of the world.

I'm light-headed with giddiness. What will I say? How much I miss her? Thank her for saving our lives? Or should I kiss her? Oh, that is the better option. I wonder after all these happenings; does she still taste like before?

As I move forward, she keeps looking at me. Her features register disbelief and something more intense that I can't quite place. Desire? Desperation? Surely both, for now she begins running towards me, her hands are reaching for me, ready to jump in my embrace.

My arms extend to hold her when she raises her bow and the arrow pierces my chest.

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	7. Hate and grief

I can't breathe. Alright that's not completely true, I've trouble breathing. Not only that few of my ribs are broken, I can take many arrows for her but also a strange pain is weighting me down. I'm back in 13 again, in the hospital. Katniss's arrow had broken some of my ribs. Alright, I can take that again, if Snow wants this, but nothing can break me like he did to my dear Katniss. Mrs. Everdreen takes care of me, although her face looks still haggard. I've no idea if she hates me or not. She thanked me for saving Prim, but what about Katniss? Can she ever forgive me for her daughter's sufferings?

It was Boggs who knocked out Katniss with one blow before any permanent damage could be done. I guess Haymitch is pretty disappointed. He can't even predict that Capitol would use Katniss as a trap, to kill me. No, I'm wrong again, to kill all of us.

But I keep insisting the doctors to let me visit her. They don't. But after a long conversation with Haymitch and others they at last decide to give me the clearance. So this time Haymitch accompanies me through the corridors of District 13 hospital.

The corridors are clean and white, too white to dazzle your eyes. The air is heavy with the smell of Phenyl and other disinfectants. "Boy, there you go.' He shoves me into a room where Plutarch, Beetee, and all others are waiting. My stomach twists into knots when I find Finnick sitting at the remote corner of the room, with one arm wrapped around a woman, green eyed, tangled dark hair in noting but a bedsit. Their lips are touching each other, arms imprisoning one another in a tight hug, the world disappeared around them, there is no tomorrow for them. None of them even bother my presence there. Even unwillingly I can't stop looking at them.

"Stop looking at them." It is Haymitch who slaps my head from back "Haven't you seen anyone kissing before?"

"Ah, yeah." I turn my eyes away from them, embarrassed "I just…"

"Stop envying other's good luck." He replies, grumpily "We have many works to do other than watching others kissing."

"Let go, Haymitch." Plutarch says, waving his hand towards the sober man, then turning his eyes towards me "Sit here Peeta. Prim has gone to meet her. It will be your turn next."

Gratefully I take my seat beside him. Finnick is still too much busy kissing Anne. I hope Mr. Cresta is now easier to handle as well as district 4 rebels. As far as I know, everyone is rescued, Johanna Manson, Annie Cresta except Enoubaria. I guess she isn't held, since she is from district 2. Gale is probably injured, because I don't see him among these crowds. Mrs. Everdreen is busy somewhere. I guess she is trying to keep herself destructed. It is better for her. I wish I can do something to keep myself busy.

The air is heavy with tension; pin drop silence prevails in the tiny room. We can say nothing before Prim returns. Every second feels like a decade. When she will return?

Possibly I've counted three times from hundred to zero in reversely (a trick that my father taught me) until the knob turns at the door. And Prim enters into the room, with Buttercup in her arms.

"Prim" instantly I rush beside her. Her face is stained with tear as I wrap my arms around her. "Peeta." She throws her little arms around my middle, slightly shaking.

"Prim. Prim" I encircle my arms around her automatically, kneel down beside her, stroke her hair behind her ears 'What happened?"

Rest of the room gathers around us, Even Finnick and Annie. Prim is still sobbing. Haymitch wraps his arms round her shoulder 'What happened, Prim? Anything wrong?"

Prim raises her eyes. Those blue eyes are cloudy, clearly mimicking fear. Her gaze is unsure, from that I know it certainly involve Katniss. This poor girl doesn't want to ruin her sister's reputation in public. "Prim." I cup her chin and tilt her face so that she is looking at me "You can tell me."

All the five pair of eyes settles upon her, Prim hesitates. "We'll tell no one else." Plutarch assures. Hesitantly Prim at last moves her lips. "Buttercup." All she can choke out.

"What about Buttercup?" I ask her, pressing her shoulder gently. But the little girl's eyes moves towards the ugly cat lying motionless on the floor. Annie is tending the ugly cat in her arms, eyes soft with affection. As she walks near us, Finnick rushes beside her. "What Annie?"

"Don't worry." Annie shakes her head, smiling "He has passed out for a while."

Prim seems relived but my mind reels on other things. Looking into her eyes suddenly it becomes all clear to me. Should I ask that?

Before I can process that thought aloud it is Plutarch who speaks "Is it Katniss?"  
My breath catches inside my chest. No, please. Let her not involve here. She is in already worse condition. Now this.. Unfortunately my wish doesn't come true.

"Yes, it is her.' Prim nods 'Katniss tried to strangle Buttercup."

My hands slip from her shoulders as Prim breaks into sob again. "It's ok, Prim." Finnick takes her hand and leads her to the other corner of the room. Annie joins him. She has somehow a loving aura round her. Sure she can help Prim go through this.  
"I'm sorry, Peeta." Plutarch places his one arm around me. I look at him, shocked. What had they done to Katniss?  
"So, Peeta, Katniss's condition has come as a shock to all of us," says Plutarch. "We couldn't help but notice her deterioration in the last two interviews. Obviously, she'd been abused, and we put his psychological state down to that. Now we believe something more was going on. That the Capitol has been subjecting her to a rather uncommon technique known as hijacking. Beetee?"

_Hijacking. _What is that ? I've never heard that term before?

Gazing into my questioning eyes Beetee shakes his head, sadly, "Sorry Peeta. I can't tell the specifics about it. Capitol keeps their torture techniques very secret. This we do know. It's a type of fear conditioning. In English "Hijack" means seize. And they possibly seize her with high amount of tracker jacker venom."

"Those cause hallucinations?" I ask, remembering the time when they stung me in the first games. I was drowned in the sea of worsening hallucinations- fear of loosing the people I loved, my family, Katniss.

"And they distorted her memories with them." Beetee nods.

I start to feel sick. Is that what they've done to Katniss? Taken her memories of us and distorted them so they're scary? I am afraid that I will faint at any moment. How can it be? Katniss can't remember me? Us? All the beautiful memories we shared together? No. it is worse than nightmare. Capitol took my family away from me, and her. What I've done to them?

Tear clogs into my throat. I can barely swallow them. I guess all of them feeling the same. The rebellion, the Mockingjay- all their plans are now ruined in any moment.

'Isn't there any chance of recovery for her?" I can barely choke out.

"We afraid not." This time Plutarch replies. His eyes are sad.

No. I can barely believe his words. "No." I scream, hiding my face behind my hands, tears well up from my eyes, I can't resist them. "I don't believe this."

"Calm down boy." Haymitch slips his arms around me "We are trying.."

"No you are not." I bust out, shoving his arm away from me. Haymitch is startled. I'm not usually a violent person but when it comes about Katniss, I can't keep myself together. "I'm going to see her now."

"But she is life threatening." Beetee warns as I take a step to the door.

"Peeta, don't.' Haymitch rushes towards the door, trying to stop me. But I completely ignore him. I push the sober man out of the way and push the door open.

()()()

I go into the small room and push the door open. I see her, lying on the bed, grey eyes gazing aimlessly to the ceiling. A cry almost chocks me as I walk close.

Hearing my footsteps her eyes widen in alarm, and then become confused. I try to speak gently not to alarm her "Katniss, it's me."

Her eyes gaze into mine for a long time as if she is trying to process all the memories at a time. She tries and fails. Confusion mars her face. She turns her eyes towards the ceiling again. "Where am I?" the first time in all the weeks I hear her voice. It is as beautiful as before. Her face is still like an angel, but those eyes.. those eyes that made the whole difference with the old Katniss. They were cloudy and haunted.

I walk close to her and take her hand, "We are in 13, Katniss."

Her eyes give an unsure expression as if she can't process the information. She even never bothers to look at me.

"That's what those people have been saying. But it makes no sense. Why aren't we home?" asks Katniss.

She looks so small and venerable that I don't want to flood her with all the bad news.

"Um.. we are just.." I bit my tongue "There is an…."  
Her fingers are continually fidgeting with the hem of the bed cloth, as if she is trying to remember. Suddenly her grasp around my hand becomes firm "An Accident." She completes the sentence. Her eyes move from the ceiling and turn straight towards me. Fire is dancing in her grey eyes as if she can remember my face at last.

"And you are Peeta Mellerk." She sits up on the bed suddenly "Aren't you?"

"Yes." I'm tearing up once again. I wish I don't cry in front of her. But I can't just take her like this anymore.

"You were in the games with me?" She asks.

"Yes." I whisper.

"You said I was pregnant." Her eyes are taking me in. anger is rising in her eyes. My body tenses in alarm. I know if I don't move from here…  
But it is too late. All on a sudden she jumps over me, knocking me on the floor. My head hit the floor, a big gash appear in my forehead. Luckily I was able to push her away from me and move aside.

"Look Katniss, I…" I can taste blood at the corner of my lips.  
"You've killed my baby." She hisses, launching over me one more time. she has the speed of a hunter, this time I can't escape. She corners me on the floor; her fingers are pressing my throat. I never knew that she is so strong. As much I struggle to breath, I can't.

"Katniss, I've never…" I try to choke out.

"You, child killer." She continues hissing, her face is stained with tears for the imaginary child. "You killed my child. You mutt." She continues yelling in fanatic voice, strangling me. I would better die if my death can heal her.

A hand reaches through the doorway, pushes a needle into her arm, she collapses on the floor. Haymitch pulls me out, and the door swings shut. "It's alright, boy." He keeps saying as he leads me out of the room where rest of the team waits with a bunch of doctors. They are scribbling something in the notepads, whispering, I can hardly understand.

I sink into a chair at corner. A cry is chocking me. My throat is burning. I wrap my arms around me. I want to cry. Prim scoots close to me. She says nothing but gently rests her chin on my shoulder. Both of us know each other's pain.

Not only does she hate me and want to kill me, she believes that I'm the murderer of our imaginary child. It is more painful than being strangled.

At last tears well up from my eyes, I can't stop them.

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	8. No place for Katniss

**Sorry for the late update. Actually I'm too busy with study and the coming exam. So the updates will be infrequent. But don't worry I'll never give up a story. Stay tuned.**

**I've a major writer's block recently a weird kind- I know how this story will end but I can't fill up the gaps in the middle. Help me please?**

They say that her memory is tempered, filled with horrible thoughts about me. They don't allow me to go near her or talk with her even. Day after day I see her though the one way glass, shouting, cursing even tearing her own hair. In times she gathers her arms near her chest, cradling the imaginary baby of ours. Only that time her eyes turns soft, there is no fire anymore. For a moment I see the old Katniss who tended me in the cave, almost snatched me from the impending death in our first games. And she kissed me. I remember those warm fuzzy feelings though they most of them are only for television but yet the warmth in her eyes I saw those moments can't be entirely false.

Eight days have been passed since her arrival and she is still in that glass room alone. A sigh escapes from my lips when I find her struggling with the doctors, trying to run away from them. I don't know what she actually wants but I can feel she is still suffering from the delusion of the loss of her imaginary baby.

"No one can reason her." It is Finnick who says from behind. I turn my head to meet his sea green eyes as he continues saying "Peeta, she is lost. Capitol took her away."

"But why?" My voice is almost chocked with tears I can't speak much "Finnick?" I stand up from my chair, my arms unknowingly finds him for support "Why her? Not me?"

The doctors are restraining her to her bed, with three straps on her each arm but she keeps fighting them. Her gaze is lost, there is no fire. They are hazy like a broken glass.

And I'm broken too.

I feel Finnick's arms softly patting my shoulder. "Be strong, Peeta." He whispers softly in my ears "We all have to."

My head shots up with his words. My eyes move from him to Katniss in the other side of the glass. She is staring at the ceiling, her eyes are vacant.

"Yes." I say. "I will."

A big smile crosses his face when he slaps my back "That's like Peeta, now. Let's go. Everyone is waiting."

He pulls me into a private conference room. I look around the room at all the faces. Gale, Haymitch, President Coin, Plutarch, Prim, and Katniss's mom. I am overwhelmed with anxiety. This is the day when the authority of 13 will decide Katniss's fate. I'm not really much fond of the idea. But I can feel the reason. The fighting is going on. District 2 is still helping Capitol with their supply of weapons and they are continually attacking the rebel houses around the country. Now the rebels are also becoming impatient. They've waited for their Mockingjay for long. But now it's getting too late. The rebellion is going out of our hand.

My mouth is feeling dry. I don't want to be in this room. I feel something bad is waiting for her. I want to be with Katniss. I need to be there to protect her.

I take my seat beside Gale. He is supposed not to be here. He was confined to bed with some kind of shoulder injury. He looks still pale and sick. His one arm is hung in with a sling around his neck. His free arm is freighting aimlessly with the hem of his trouser. He doesn't even bother to look at me when I take my seat beside him.

When all of us are seated President Coin stands up from her seat and clears her throat. "My dear fellows." She begins and with her words the whole room fells silent.

"We are here to talk about Miss Everdreen." She pauses, studying our faces "You know about her condition. But we can't delay about the Mockingjay issue."

I really don't like this woman in grey. There is something in her eyes that reminds me of President Snow. I don't know why.

Gale moves beside me unhappily. For a moment our eyes meet. I can read the clear hatred in his eyes. Does he blame me for everything?

"What do you think about her progress, Doctor Rodrig?" She turns to the head doctor of 13. Haymitch takes another gulp from his liquor bottle. He is getting really impatient now.

"We're trying everything." The head doctor stands up from his seat "But we've a very little data on that. Capitol distorted her memories into scary ones. She is near insane."

"But can't you reverse it?" this time Plutarch interrupts "How can she take this responsibility of a Mockingjay like this?"

"But we've a very little knowledge about the treatment." Dr. Rodrig nods sadly "We tried to get information from Capitol database. But we can't access it."

"Yeah. That is secured with a password even I can't hack that." Beetee who is sitting next to Plutarch adds.

Oh, no. I want to run away. I want to cover my ears with my hands. This isn't happening. my Katniss… she will spend rest of her life in a glass room, slowly dying. No, I can't even imagine that.

"That bastard." I hear Gale cursing under his breath. His grey eyes are burning with low fire. Prim also looks uneasy. But she has no scope of talking in this meeting. Mrs. Everdreen is as silent as before. But I know she is breaking too.

"That means she will never become normal?" Coin's eyes are cloudy with fake grief. I may be wrong but I can see a slight hint of secret smile at the corner of her lips.

"We are not sure." Doctor replies sadly "But we'll try. We'll prepare a team of mental health an military professionals for her treatment. But we don't know how long it will take."

"Can we wait for our Mockingjay that long?" Coin's voice is veiled with fake sorrow as she looks around her "Can we?"

"What do you mean by that president?" Now Haymitch speaks up for the first time. his voice is still thick with the effect of alcohol.

"My meaning is clear, Mr. Abernathy." Coin smiles sadly but to me it seems like a ghost of smile "Miss Everdreen can't be the Mockingjay."

"But we waited for her all these times?" This the usual gentle sarcastic Haymitch bursts out "How can you convince the rebels, president?"

"But we can't have an insane girl leading a revolution." Coin bits her lips, her cheeks flushes with anger. She takes a deep breath and continues "Is is sane?"

She is talking so much like Snow. All of a sudden I realize she is actually happy with Katniss's hijacking.

"Is it sane, Mr. Abernathy?" she repeats, fixing her gaze right into Haymitch's eyes. "If she never recovers then shall we stop this revolution? Just for a girl?"

Haymitch's head hangs to his chest, he can't answer. The question is so true. I see the color rising to his cheeks; even the sarcastic Haymitch doesn't know the answer.

Silence wraps the room once again. No one knows the answer.

What have Capitol done to my Katniss?

"Do you want her to keep locked in a padded room and let her suffer?" the silence shutters with Gale's voice who suddenly decides to speak up after this heated conversation. "Is it justice?"

Coin's eyes turns to him, her eyes narrowed with smile "Well, what else we can do Soldier Howthrone? She believes Mr. Mellerk killed her child, all of us have destroyed district 12. She believes no one except herself. Capitol has wiped away all the memories about her past making her believe all of us are mutts. Every human she sees thinks that they are trying to murder her baby. She thinks everyone around her works for Capitol. She tries every person she sees. How can we let her have this responsibility? She is nothing but a killer machine right now."

Gale lowers his head in defeat as Mrs. Everdreen stands up from her chair and storms out of the room. "Mom." Prim gets up from her chair anxiously and follows her. She is always concerned about her mother. After her husband's death she went into a depressive trance but when she is getting back to normal again Katniss's hijacking changes the whole matter. I know Prim fears about her mental condition. She lost her sister but she can't lose her mother now.

Annie is murmuring something about Capitol and Finnick is consoling him. At one point he also leads her out of the room leaving us behind.

"But she will be ok?" Plutarch asks Haymitch. The situation is getting worse than I thought. I shift my arms slightly so I can see his expression through the crack. He's exhausted and discouraged as he admits, "I think Katniss might get somewhat better. But...I don't think she'll ever be the same." I snap my arms back together, closing the crack, shutting them all out.

"At least she's alive," says Plutarch, as if he's losing patience with the lot of us. "No matter what happens with the Mockingjay issue."

But his attempt to handling the situation backfires. Coin is silent for a while. This time she again decides to open her mouth "But we need another Mockingjay, don't we?"

No. no. I want to shout out now. I saw her appeal as Mockingjay. I see that in district 4, dying happily with the hope that their Mockingjay will return one day.

She is the real Mockingjay. She always was.

But before I can open my mouth Haymitch throws the question "Then who will be the new Mockingjay?"

With a smile Coin's eyes moves towards me "We have Mr. Mellerk. Don't we?"

"No." I try to protest "I can't take her place. "

"But people want you, Peeta." but she smiles as if she didn't hear me, gets up from the room leaving rest of us, dumbfounded.

The next moment, Gale's reaction is truly disastrous. He jumps from his seat, grabs my collar and pushes me against the back of my chair "All of this is your plan." He hisses in my ear "You wanted to be victor, the Mockingjay. Don't you? You always want to make Katniss to be depended on you."

I feel an angry stir inside but I remain calm "God forbid what make you think like that Gale? I tried to deny but Coin…"

"It is another of your clever plan." Gale cuts me off in the mid-sentence as he pushes harder "You are happy I know. If you really want Katniss to get well, then you'll try to help her. You'll never sit here doing nothing."

My heart squeezes with his words. No one knows how much I want to help her. But she hates me. Doctors said that my presence would make her condition worse. They don't even let me to see her. Doesn't he know how much I'm suffering?

May be he would say many other things but it is Haymitch who walks between us in right time and grasps Gale's shoulder. "Gale, have you gone mad?"

"It is his plan." Gale struggles as Haymitch pulls him away from me. his eyes are sending fire to me "He just…"

"It is not his fault." Haymitch says as he pulls him to the door "Peeta doesn't know anything about Coin's decision."

With his words Gale stops struggling. But I see something else in his eyes. "Gale." I stand up from my chair, taking a deep breath "Let me explain…"

"No." He looks away from as he takes a step to the door "I don't want to talk with you Peeta. I'm going to tell Katniss everything about your plan, right now."

"Don't." suddenly I realize what he is going to do. Before he can reach the door, I rush beside him "Gale, listen…"

But he shoves me hard on shoulder and pushes me out of his way. I feel all the air leave my body and before I get my lungs back he is out of the room.

**Worst chapter ever. I know the story is getting slow but I don't want to rush into things. Ok, in the next chapter we'll have a little Gale-Katniss-Peeta scene.**

**So stay tuned and of course review.**


	9. A word with Katniss

Within a second I open the door and rash into the corridor. I must go there, I must go near Katniss. I've no idea how she will react with the news of me becoming the Mockingjay but I'm sure it will not be so pretty. Gale has no idea what she has become. He has seen her through glass only, but I faced her, I know what she can do. She is nothing but a killer machine right now. She will tear Gale apart.

All others in the room keep shouting behind me, telling me to stop. But I can't. I can't stop until I reach her.

As I reach near her room, I find Gale arguing with the duty nurse at the door. Possibly he wants to get inside. No, I must stop him.

"Gale." I shout his name behind him. Suddenly I find him handing the nurse something. He has bribed her. Oh no…and she is opening the door.

"Gale." I rush near him, trying to stop him. My hand catches his shoulder. "Don't." I say. "Let me talk…"

"I've nothing to talk with you, Peeta." He brushes my hand away from his shoulder. His eyes are clouded with some unknown emotions that I've never seen before. Is he jealous?

May be. But the jealousy is turning him blind.

"Please, Gale." I try to reason him "Let's talk with her together." With my words his jaw tightens. "I've no business with you." He shoves me hard on shoulder and walks inside. And the door shuts behind him.

I stand outside, helpless. I can't stop him. My eyes catch the girl inside the glass room. It is same as before- Katniss sitting at the edge of her bed, her gaze fixed on the wall before her, but there is no light in them.

"Katniss." Her head shots up with Gale voice as he walks inside. Her eyes clouds with confusion as she sees him.

I stand outside the door, begging the nurse to let me in but she is constant with her words.  
"No, Mr. Mellerk. You are not allowed to see her."

He says something and Katniss's eyes lights up for a moment but soon it is gone. I have no idea what he is saying. It is a one way glass. I can just hope he doesn't do something disastrous.

But he does.

Gale walks near her but she doesn't bother to move. Gale looks at her direction; I guess he tries to hide his tears as he rubs his eyes. He kneels beside her and slowly places a hand on her knees. And this time she startles with his touch.

With fear I see her eyes moving towards his direction. Her eyes are turning cloudier than before. I see her lips twitching slightly. Gale looks at her with confusion and says again something but she is not listening. Slowly her arms gather to her chest as if she is cradling a baby. Even her hands are now jerking so much that she can't even keep her arms in position. I find Gale's expression first turning confused and then frightened. Her whole body is jerking so violently now.

"No." I press myself against the glass as I find her shaking like an epileptic person. "Please." I look at the nurse, "Please let me go inside." I'm literally pleading right now. Warm tears rolls down to my cheeks as I beg to her "Please…"

She is still shaking. And I'm just standing here doing nothing.

"_If you really want Katniss to get well, then you'll try to help her." _Gale's voice echoes inside my head. He said the truth. I'm doing nothing for her.

A coward! Yes, I am. If I really want to get her well then, I will do something. I must. Without a second thought I push the nurse aside and quickly turn the knob. Fortunately it isn't locked from inside.

As soon as I walk into the room a blood curling scream makes my heart stop. My eyes move towards the direction where I find Gale lying on the ground and Katniss is holding a fruit cutter knife, poised high, ready to stab.

"You've murdered my family." She hisses "You mutt."

"Katniss, I…" Gale tries to pull himself up from the ground, "I've not arranged the bombing.."

"You liar.." She leaps towards him, but Gale's swift hunter reflex helps him to escape. He rolls towards the corner, still saying "Trust me, Katniss."

Gale sits on the floor helplessly. A drop of tear is still shining at the corner of his eyes. Slowly he rises his hand and begins saying "Listen, Katniss…"

But she isn't listening. Instead she let out an angry scream and begins walking near him. It really hurts me seeing her like this. But just them Gale's pleading eyes meet me. After Gale's behavior with me few minutes ago, I should leave him here. But I do something that I shouldn't do. But when I see her cloudy eyes and mad face, I can't stop myself doing that.

I know it is nothing but suicide. But without warning, I grab her from behind and quickly tilt her mad face towards me.

"Katniss, Katniss…" I whisper her name. She shivers with the sound of her name. She tilts her head so that her eyes are now looking into mine. Her grey eyes have turned into two black pools. Her body is still shaking. Even her pupils twitch.

"Get off me." She squirms in my arms.

"No." I say, intensely looking into her eyes "Never."

"You mutt." She screams, her eyes flushes with anger "All of you…." Before she can finish her words my I press my lips against hers, silencing her. She tries to free herself from me, her knife cuts into my wrist, but I don't care.

"We are not enemies." I say "Please, trust me."

"I don't trust you." She tries to pull off but once again her words trails with my kiss on her lips. She continues squirming, again slicing my arms with her knife, but I don't care. Tears course down along my cheeks as I continue whispering in her ears.  
"Trust me. Trust us, Katniss. We are not enemies."

Meanwhile Gale calls the security, doctors rush in pulling her away from me. "No," I try to rush near her but a pair of strong arms pull me back. I turn my head to my captor- Gale.

"Let her rest, Peeta." He says. I find his eyes shining with gratitude. Then he turns his attention to the doctors saying "He is injured. Help him."

"No, wait…" I try to say from behind but another group of doctors surround me.

"I'm sorry." Gale quickly slips in the crowd and disappears from my sight.

As the doctors complete bandaging my injured hand, they tell me to rest. But I insist. I say that I'll be comfortable in the small room beside Katniss's cabin. I settle myself in a chair beside the window where a one way glass separates me from Katniss. I see her struggling against the restrains on her arms, cursing, screaming. I feel the warm tears running along my cheeks, but I've no intention to wipe them away. I know she can't see me now. I place my palm over the glass window and say "I'm sorry, Katniss."

I've no idea how long I stay there, sitting beside the glass window watching my mad girl slowly falling into sleep.

"You can't help her in this way." suddenly a voice wakes me up from the slumber. A lean slender figure of a woman moves beside me, in the dim light of the fluorescent bulb I recognize the face- Johanna Mason. She is thinner that the last time I've seen her and some unknown reason her head is completely shaved.

"In Capitol, we were neighbors." She takes her seat beside me. "Every night I hear her cry, her scream. At first they just used to hang her upside down, asking for your location. When they failed, they shifted to the tracker-jacker venom. I hear her scream every night, for hours. Do you know what she says?"  
"No.." Unknowingly my eyes turn to the girl in the opposite side of the glass window. White gowns, sterile rooms, needles, mad scientists- suddenly flush inside my mind. My heart squeezes with the thought.

"She says your name. She is unwilling to believe all the lies they told about you." Johanna continues "But when they begin planting the false memory of the loss of her baby…"

"She succumbs to their plan." I finish the sentence. I know how much sensitive she is about the baby issue. I see her love for Prim, her nightmares about the death of all the children in the arena, her grief about Rue… I know.

"Can you leave her in this way?" Johanna says, gazing into my eyes.

"No." I answer instantly, slightly impatient "God knows how much I want her to get well. But she doesn't listen to me. all her feelings for me…"

"Still she cares for you." Right then a voice interrupts the conversation. Both of us turn towards the people entering inside- Prim and Gale.

"Hi, handsome." Johanna brightens up at the sight of Gale "Are you following me?"

Surprised, my eyes moves from Johanna to Gale. But Gale ignores her and turns his eyes towards me "Peeta, I've to go to 2 with Beetee right now. Before that I want to tell you something."

I try to read what is really going on inside Gale's mind, but I can't. He quickly lowers his eyes and turns to Prim "You said you've an idea about Katniss's treatment?"

"Yes." Prim brightens up "I have." Then she walks near me and throws something on my lap. "Look, Peeta." She says.

"What?" I raise my eyebrows to find a battered old life sized girl doll on my lap.

"It is a doll!" Johanna rolls her eyes "Don't tell me to pretend that it is Katniss's child. Prim, you should grow up."

"Stop, Johanna." I glare at her and look at Prim "What is with that?"

Prim smiles meaningfully and whispers "This is Katniss's favorite doll, Peeta. Can you pretend with her something?"

"What?" I watch her face, bewildered.

"Pretend that this is her lost child." A wide smile crosses Prim's face "I hope this will make her to trust you."

Gale looks from me to Prim, much more confused than I am.

"So, you want him to pretend him as her child's father while I'm gone? She doesn't trust anyone. Do you think her believing this?" he stands up and throws his chair impatiently across the room. "She doesn't trust me. How can you think she will trust him?" he eyes me, clearly not much fond with the idea.

"That is not her fault, Gale." I say icily. I'm really tired of this so called love triangle.

"But he is…." He tries to say only to be cut off by Prim "Coin made Peeta the Mockingjay. It isn't his fault either."

"Yes." Johanna supports Prim and then turns to me "You should take this chance, Peeta."

"I say this will be a disaster." Gale growls in anger but just in time his _comminucate _rings reminding him about his flight to district 2.

"What you will do?" Prim asks me.

"I'll do anything for her." I reply, calmly.

His _comminucate_ continues ringing. He must go now. "Whatever you do I like to see my Katniss happy." Gale stands up from his chair and throws me an unhappy glare before leaving the room.

I take a quick glance of Katniss through the glass window. She seems awake right now. I rise from the chair and follow Gale towards the door.

"Where are you going, Peeta?" both Johanna and Prim ask in unison.  
"To talk with Katniss." I reply and push the door open and step into the mad girl's room.

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**How about this? I'm not much happy with this. I'm so busy that I can't think anything better than this.**

**My exam is knocking at the door, so maybe I can't update regularly. But I'll finish this story for sure. So stay tuned.**


	10. Trust me

At midnight, I stand outside her room or to be specified her cell. The hospital room. I see the doctors gathering around us, Prim is telling something to them. Plutarch is ready with his camera. The whole world is eager to know about their Mockingjay. After her last interview with Cesar, she was completely out of the sight for this long. Coin agrees or not she is still their Mockingjay.

But I want to meet her privately. I'm not afraid of camera. But after all it will be our true meeting in the truest sense. I glare at Prim. But she ignores. It's Plutarch who comes and thumps my shoulder "I know it's odd, Peeta. But the world needs to know what Snow had done to their Mockingjay."

"It is not fair." I say, glancing at the doorway "She never likes to be advertised."

"But she is choosen." Plutarach smiles and disappears behind the one way glass again. The doctors assemble behind the glass, with clipboards and papers, pens poised. Slowly and painfully the glass door slides open. After the incident with Gale the security is stregntened three times. No one can go in her room now and then. When Haymitch signals me, I enter into the room.

And those grey eyes locks instantly upon me. She got no restraints but a tube that can dispense a knockout drug just in case she loses control. She doesn't fight to free herself, though, only observes me with the wary look of someone who still hasn't ruled out that she's in the presence of a mutt. I walk over her until I reach at the side of her bed. I'm still holding the doll in my arms like a baby. I gather my arms around it protectively before I speak, "Hey."

"Hey." To my surprise, she responses. Her eyes aren't as cloudy as they were in the morning or even wearing the murderous look. Instead her eyes moves towards the small bundle I am holding in my arms. She thinks something before I speak again.

"Can you recognize me?"

To my surprise, she nods again. "You…" she pauses, still not losing the sight of the doll in my arms "Peeta."

"Yes." I smile, reducing the distance between us before I sit at the edge of her bed. She observes me suspiciously as if she expects me to turn into a drooling wolf or something like that. Still she doesn't protest when I sit beside her.

"I thought you have knife." She says, to no one particular. I smile at her childish comment. I know she has been though hell and back. Still the innocence isn't snatched away from her.

"I don't have any knife." I put the doll down and show her my hands "Look I've nothing. You must trust me."

Her eyes narrow in confusion. "Why should I trust you when you don't trust me?"

My eyebrows are drawn together in confusion. I gaze into her eyes trying to figure out what she is saying. But she continues "If you really do trust me Peeta, then you will never have me locked here."

I look at her hands, fidgeting restlessly by her side. I can how much pain living in a glass room.. "You will have freed me." she smiles innocently. I feel the tears threatened to fall. But I can't let them fall. Or even free Katniss.

"I'm sorry." I get up from her bed "I can't free you."

"I know." her lips twist in the most horrible smile I've ever seen into anyone's face. Her eyes narrows in a terrible smile. "You are the one who killed my child. You want to kill me as well." She screams.

"I've never killed anyone." I know I'm ruining the plan but I can't stop myself running to the door. Haymitch keeps yelling at me in the earpiece but I don't know other way to escape. I can't see my Katniss in this condition. I want to run away, curl up in a corner and cry. Yes, I want to cry again.

"I remember the beach." Suddenly her voice stops me at the pace. I turn my face to see her flushing eyes "You and me together."

The pain wraps around my ribs like a vise. All I want to hug her tightly and kiss her confusion away but the burning hatred in her eyes stops me from the action. "Well." I stand almost a yard away from her "What else you remember?"

"I remember kissing you." She speaks aloud "You probably loved me then."

"I did." My voice chocks at the memory of the beach. How can I forget the moment or the kiss? It was the truest kiss I ever had from Katniss and our talks about the being the parents.

"You said that I'll be a good mother then?" she speaks my thought aloud.

"I did." I reply wearily walking closer. She doesn't stop me but watches me with interest. She gets up on her bed and hangs her legs at the edge. I gather courage and walk closer to her.

"I know you will be good mother, always." I kneel beside her, my hands touches her knees gently. This time she startles with my touch.

"Go away from me." all on a sudden she screams. I feel her muscles jerking beneath my skin.

"Katniss." I try to say. But she begins shaking like she did in the morning.

"Go away, you murderer." She screams, suddenly gets up from the bed and springs towards the nearby wall. She hit the wall instantly and falls on the floor. Blood begins sipping from her forehead.

Haymitch is yelling me to get out from there. But I can't. I rush near her to help her to get up. But she scrambles to the corner trying to hide from me.

'Don't kill me. Don't kill her." she keeps saying. Her arms are gathered at her chest as if she is cradling a baby. Her whole body is jerking violently as she tries to hide from me. Tears well up from my eyes as I see her shaking in that way . I know doctors will come to help her soon. But it will never help her. Medicines never helped her in these days. I know.

I can't let her to be finished her like this.

Quickly I grab the doll which is still lying on the bed. I rush beside her, she tries to melt in the corner but I grab her arm and quickly pull her in my arms, placing the doll in her gathered arms.

"No one killed your child. Our child." I whisper in her ear. She gives me a frightened look, tries to squirm away but I never lose my grip around her. "You must believe me Katniss."

I can feel her twitching. She clenches her jaw and her whole body twitches.

I hold her tightly, letting her tremble against me. "It's okay," I soothe. "It's not real." She is crying. Her hot tears are soaking the front of my shirt. "My baby." she hiccups between the sob cradling the doll. I feel her jerking slowly fading.

"No one call kill our baby." I murmur in her ears.

She opens her eyes long enough to take me in. Even her pupils twitch.

"Peeta." Her whisper is strained "How can I trust you? I've seen you killing my baby, drowning it into the sea. Your murderous laughter…"

"What can I do?" I rest my head on the back of her shoulder, and rub my hand down her arm. It's what I used to do comfort her when she woke up from a nightmare in the train. I hope it will have the same effect still.

"They are not real, Katniss." I keep saying in her ears as she holds me tightly, may be these is reviving her memory of our nights together in the train. She holds me until her muscle stop jerking. Her fingers clutch the doll protectively. She looks much calmer than before.

When I feel her muscles stop jerking, I help walk her to the bed. She collapses and I gently pull up the blanket to her chest. She is still holding the doll. When I turn to leave she motions for me to sit down next to her. And to my surprise she holds me. That's all she wants—to wrap her arms around me and squeeze. If holding me takes away the tiniest bit of fear or pain, then I'll stay for as long as I'm needed. She doesn't have to speak. Her pained eyes say it all.

As the time flies away I hear Haymitch congratulating me from the other side. I see Prim's smile at the opposite side of the door. I don't see Plutarch but I guess he is now dancing with joy.

I run my finger in her soft locks. Her eyes are closed and she looks so peaceful right now. Still like the old Katniss who used to sleep peacefully in my arms in the nights in train.

"You used to do that to me in the train." My head snapped with her voice. I thought she is sleeping.

"Real or not real?" she demands.

"Real." I say.

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**So it's all before my next hibernation. It's mushy I guess. But don't worry Katniss & Peeta's relationship will not run so smoothly. More twist is waiting.**

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	11. I wanted to trust you, Peeta

**I really like some reviews for it. It helps me keep writing.**

I am sitting next to Katniss on the bed holding her hand when she stirs. She turns her eyes on me with confusion clear in them. As our eyes meet, I try to smile but she doesn't respond. Instead her pupils begin twitching and slowly hatred begins take over the confusion.

"You are still here?" it is just a question, but the way her brows furrow, I can feel it is a warning. It is wise to leave her alone right now, instead I sit there holding her hand, smiling. Haymitch and rest of the camera crew are gone long ago, possibly Beetee has gotten the footage ready to air by now. Haymitch offered me to go with them but I insist.

"I can't leave her." I said to him. Haymitch gave me a wide eyed gaze. Even in his half drunken state he understood that I was determined in my words.

"You are a goner, boy." He shook his head, clearly disappointed "You really are."

So now I'm staying with a mad girl in a closed room completely unarmed, unprotected, and alone.

"Are you here to finish me off, Peeta?" she is repeating my words to me but there is sadness in her voice and it breaks my heart. She is much calmer than before, even she doesn't show any intention to attack me but the haunted look in her eyes tears me inside.

"No, I can't do that."

"But you are supposed to kill me, don't you? It is the game. Only one can win."

Yes. It is. We are still in game. A weird game actually. The game Capitol is playing with us, our lives , repetitively. And only one can win. But sure not with the cost of Katniss's life.

"I better die before I kill you." I try to be strong, but inside my heart is breaking and tears strings my eyes. I grab her hand that I was holding "I can never do that."

Katniss is afraid to look at my eyes. Confusion mars her and she doesn't try to hide that "But they said, you killed my child so that you can make me weak and kill me easily. And you can win the game. They show me the tapes- you are hunting me down with the carriers."

Her words slice me like a knife. They had twisted her memories about me, about us in such a way that make them almost real.

"That's not real. And if I ever have to kill you, I'll happy kill myself before that so I don't have to see your lifeless face." I take her another hand and clasp my fingers around it, so that our hands are intertwined.

This causes her to look at me with shock, tears gather at the corner of her eyes, almost threatened to fall. Slowly she pulls herself in the bed, so that she is now sitting face to face with me. She gazes into my eyes doubtfully but she doesn't try to free herself from me.

"The way you speak, that makes me to believe your words are real."

"They are real." I move closer to her. She doesn't flinch away this time. She keeps looking at me suspiciously but she doesn't stop me from doing that.

"I know what happen to you. I know how much you suffered." I whisper leaning closer "I know how you feel when you have nightmares."

Shock reads clearly in her bright eyes "You know about my nightmares?"

"Yes, I used to hold you in the trains."

"The trains…" Her eyes become distant "I thought they are just dreams."

"No, they are real."

"And the murder of my child?"

"Not real."

Tears fall freely from her eyes; she doesn't try to wipe them away. She shakes her head and gazes into my eyes "Did I've a life before the games?"

"You did." Hesitantly I raise my thumb to wipe her tears away, she doesn't stop me.

"But I…I…" She stops speaking for a moment and is trying to breathe. "I can't remember that."

I breathe slow and steady placing her hands against my heart and take slow deep breaths to try and regulate her breathing. "I'll help you to remember."

For the first time since her return I see her smiling. She looks more and more beautiful than before. She looks at my face and our gazes lock for a while. "Then tell me."

So we play a strange game called "real or not real". It is the weirdest kind of game I've ever played. Katniss asks me a question and I have to tell her if they are real or not. Mostly she asks about her life, sometimes about the games. I become astonished when I find out that Capitol has carefully wiped away all the good memories of her past and somehow replaced them with some twisted shiny thoughts. Her memory begins with the games where Mrs. Everdreen and Prim are nothing but two mutt wolves, or Gale who is a mutt hunter who hunts her down. Surely she knows about the rebellion but somehow they make her to think completely different.

"Here all of you join to burn out the districts when Capitol tries to protect them." She says at last "You killed my baby so that you can be the next Mockingjay. You envy me."

"No." I press my finger against her lips "Trust me Katniss, all of us here to save the innocent people from Capitol's deadly games. And I never want to be the next Mockingjay."

She set her big grey eyes upon me- half believing my words "You never envied me. Real or not real?"

"Not real." I reply immediately without second thought "You are our Mockingjay always."

"Can I trust you?" Her eyes are locked on mine.

"Always." I reach my hand up and brush her hair back from her eyes and lightly trace her face with both hands. She doesn't objects, even doesn't finches away. I feel her body tensing when I move to her arms and gently trace them as well. But she remains still, observing with both confusion and desire. Her look is like a curious lioness who weighs her wanna be companion with doubt and desire. "Sometimes…sometimes… I think you can't kill my baby. " she confesses. "Sometimes I think it is just a nightmare." Her confession makes her look down and I bring her chin gently back up as I stare into her beautiful eyes.

"It is a nightmare." We are now so close that I can see every freckles of her chin, the way her nose flares with each breath, the way her eyes tries to make out the real out of the haziness. I can't resist myself from touching her. And she relaxes in my touch. Her every breath leaves Goosebumps on my skin wherever it touches. I find her watching me too. I tilt her face and bring her lips nearer…she doesn't object….rather she looks curious…

"Peeta."

The door opens and we quickly break apart to see Haymitch staring at us open mouthed. I quickly take Katniss's hand so that she doesn't attack him without any warning. But the way her body tenses, I can feel that she is waiting for the new intruder turning into another mutt or something like that.

"Aha, It seems you are well, sweetheart?" it's Haymitch who first breaks the ice "It's nice to see you two back in old form again." He gives us a lopsided smile.

But Katniss doesn't reply. Her hunter eyes are still observing him. So Haymitch decides to move his attention to me. "So boy, your propos has aired tonight. And do you know what happened- the districts up roared again, the rebels are…"

"Are you human?" Katniss's question cut Haymitch off. He gives a wide eyed look to me and then takes a step closer to her "Sure kid. You can check yourself."

I try to smile nervously when Katniss moves closer to the drunk man. Panic rushed through me when she walks closer to him but Haymitch stops me from holding her back.

"And all the people wants to see their Mocklingjay now. " He continues while Katniss's eyes train him "Plutarch says he'll make propos with her but Coin insists that you better do that."

"Why?" I know I shouldn't talk with the Mockingjay issue in front of Katniss especially when she thinks I'm the part of the conspiracy against her to take her position but I can't resist my curiosity.

"Because she has already declared you as the Mockingjay officially. But we've planned to take Katniss to the studio secretly and Plutarch will get her ready for the propos. You must help us Peeta."

"Of course, I'm in." I shake my head "All you've planned with her."

"So it's true!" Suddenly Katniss stops at her pace and moves her eyes from Haymitch to me "You are really planning against me. You are planning to make me to join in your murderous team who kill innocent people."

I feel panic overtake me. All the work, all the closeness we had shared was ripped away from me. She thought I was betraying her.

"No, Katniss. We're not murdering people. We're trying to save them from Capitol." It is Haymitch who speaks this time "Peeta is also with us. He rescued the people of district 4."

"Rebels arranged that bombing, I've seen that tape." But Katniss's looks remains unchanged. "So Capitol send me to kill Peeta there. He is a murderer. And you work with him too." She hisses taking another step closer to the old man "You helped him to kill my child. It's your entire plan."

Her eyes are clouded again. They are reflecting the dim light of the room, her muscles begin twitching and I know she is entering into another flashback episode.

"I'm actually here to take you out for the propos." Haymitch tries to reason her "Kid, you're the real Mockingjay."

"You're a mutt." Katniss hisses. And with her words all the colors drains from Haymitch's face. I know he is hurt when he loves her like his own daughter. But it's not the perfect time to deal with emotions. "Haymitch." I try to warm him. but before the words leave my mouth Katniss launches over the old man, throwing him on the floor. The liquor bottle crushes and shutters into millions of pieces.

"Sweetheart, I…" Haymitch's eyes are still soft, he can't be real angry with his favorite girl. But Katniss sits on his chest, pinning him to the floor, hissing "Mutt. You Mutt… I'll never work for you, mutt."

"Katniss, no…" I rush behind her and wrap my arms around her. But she keeps squirming. In her hand she is still holding a broken piece of glass, pointing it straight to Haymitch's throat.

Slowly I drag her away from Haymitch who still looks shocked and of course sad.

"Katniss, I…" Haymitch tries to say.

"Get out." She cries again. "You mutt. You liar."

She keeps struggling, but I hold her tight so that she can't attack Haymitch again. She squirms in my embrace. I see that her eyes are wild and she keeps looking between us carefully. I see the betrayal in her eyes. I understand how she can feel that way. The Capitol seems to have found other ways to destroy us all. I try to calm her, reassure her.

"Katniss, sweetheart, Haymitch was trying to protect both of us in the arena. He is the one who saved me and would have saved you too if the Capitol hadn't picked you up first. He is trying to save all the innocent people. He can't be the mutt."

"He is mutt." Katniss is becoming unreasonable once again. She is still shaking. I know she is in the premonitory stage of the flashback. If we can't get any medical help right now, she will be more violent.

Haymitch understood that before me because he has already called the doctor. The doctor arrives and as soon as he pulls out the needle she starts screaming. "No, stop this. No more memories." I hold her trying to calm her down. Tears courses down to my cheeks, I can't stop them. But standing at a distance I see Haymitch's eyes shining too. He keeps shaking his head saying "I'm sorry, Katniss."

He really loves the girl.

As she keeps thrashing in my arms while the doctor pushes the medicine in her veins, I keep brushing the stray hair from her eyes.

"I really wanted to trust you Peeta." She turns to look at me. "But now I understand Capitol showed me your real face. And it is so ugly." and I see hatred in the same eyes that were clouded with trust for me five minutes ago.

As she becomes unconscious a sigh rips my throat. I gather her in my arms and get up from the floor, ready to lay her out for the propos. even in the sleep she looks so haunted. Capitol destroyed her, my Katniss.

I want to cry now. But there is no time for crying.

"Peeta." It's Haymitch who moves closer and places his arm on my shoulder comfortingly "We've to get her ready for becoming Mockingjay propos before Coin knows. Will you help us?"

"I will." I say.

**It's truly poor quality writing. But I'm so busy. Next chapter will be more twisted, possibly with more love-hate conflict between Peeta and Katniss and Mockingjay Propo. Can Peeta make her to shoot for the propos before Coin knows the whole plan?**

**Until then stay tuned.**


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